Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Fort Reno 911: A PSA

[Lights up on The DCeiver and little Billy, who is warbling out a song and playing his toy guitar.]

BILLY: (singing) ...be-cause they can't get up!

DCEIVER: Oh, great, Billy. "The Waiting Room." Just great.

BILLY: Gee, DCeiver, do you really think so?

DCEIVER: Oh, sure, Billy. I can't see how anyone could be bored of that song. (notices cameras) Oh! Hello there. I didn't notice you come in. My name is the DCeiver, and this here's little Billy.

BILLY: Hello, folks!

DCEIVER: You know, no matter what changes here in the city, there are always people who really care about the DC rock.

BILLY: Sometimes, even the Arlington rock!

DCEIVER: Ha, ha! Right, Billy. But only sometimes. And for people who care about the rock, there's no better place to appreciate it than summers at Fort Reno. On Mondays and Thursdays during the summer, rock fans can see the best in local music play in the evenings in a relaxed, low key setting.

BILLY: And they can see them for free!

DCEIVER: It's a great deal and a Washington tradition. Let's clear up a few misconceptions. First, not all of the bands sound like Fugazi.

BILLY: Some of them, in fact, sound like the Dismemberment Plan! And you don't have to be a fan of DC's legendary humidity...

DCEIVER: ...But it sure helps!

BILLY: And as always, remember: no glass bottles!

DCEIVER: That's right. For just as the Taliban ban women from attending school and/or soccer games, so too do the people behind the Fort Reno concert series hate those glass bottles.

BILLY: (turning serious) But now, Fort Reno needs your help.

DCEIVER: You see, the Fort Reno concert series is sponsored by the Northwest Youth Alliance, and they really need your help to ensure that the series continues.

BILLY: For a donation of just five dollars, the price you might pay to see just one of these bands, you can help fund the concert series for years to come.

DCEIVER: Of course, no one's going to turn down a larger donation, but if all you rock fans out there chip in, you'd be going a long way to keep this wonderful facet of the local rock community alive and kicking.

BILLY: It's a great way for fans to give back to the musicians that inspire them.

DCEIVER: And, of course, your donation would be tax deductible. You'd be helping out the closest thing the city has to its own rock festival.

BILLY: But what about the Six Points Music Festival, DCeiver?

DCEIVER: Exactly, Billy. What about it, indeed.

BILLY: Make your check payable to the Northwest Youth Alliance.

DCEIVER: And send said check to: Northwest Youth Alliance c/o Beth Baldwin, 3351 Highwood Drive SE, Washington, DC 20020.

BILLY: Gosh, Mr. DCeiver, do you think that one day, I might be playing live rock at Fort Reno?

DCEIVER: Ha! Ohhhhh, Billy. (tousles his hair) Let's sure hope not.

3 comments:

Rusty said...

The Northwest Youth Alliance is in Southeast?

DCepticon said...

Later that same day young Billy over dosed on some cold medicine.

Won't someone please think of the children.

dcbrat said...

hilarious.