Thursday, August 17, 2006

Plus, for every snake you destroy, we will make FIVE MORE! Bwawwaahaha!

Thursday evening, outside Amsterdam Falafelshop:

DCeiver: I don't know about you, but I'm totally rooting for the snakes.

Wife of DCeiver: Are you? Isn't that shortsighted? You can't imagine that there's even the remote possibility that the snakes are going to win.

DCeiver: Who do you think is going to win?

Wife of DCeiver: Well, Samuel L. Jackson, I imagine.

DCeiver: Well, I think Samuel L. Jackson is going to survive. Given the right spin, he could probably make it look like a win. But you aren't seeing the big picture.

Wife of DCeiver: What's the big picture?

DCeiver: Well, it's conceivable that the snakes will suffer tremendous casualties, and even lose in the short term sense. It's possible, even likely, that the snakes will have to make withdrawals in the immediate region of the conflict.

Wife of DCeiver: You mean the plane.

DCeiver: That's right. But, you see, it's not like Samuel L. Jackson's character is going to be able to root out and destroy ALL the snakes in the world, is he? No. These plane-based losses are acceptable to the snakes. The snakes will be able to say they faced up to no less than Samuel L. Jackson and survived. That's going to make their position in the animal kingdom a LOT stronger, and, as an added bonus, it's likely that the snakes will be able to, for a time, thwart Jackson's long term strategic goals, if not derail them entirely. So in the big picture sense, the snakes could very well win.

Wife of DCeiver: So...what you're saying is, the snakes are essentially--

DCeiver: Hezbollah. Exactly.


jordan said...

and then they'll come back and repair all of the parts of the plane that samuel l. jackson destroyed to regain the people's/other snakes' support, because if it's one thing america and the UN are good at, is being less humanitarian than iranian-funded parties...

ps: word verification? "gncuhnt"

Andy said...

If only the PIRA and St. Patrick were involved. But then it would be "Snekes on a Pléin."

divine ms. k said...

Personally, I'm hoping the snakes show up in the hatch this season. I mean, a plane did crash on the island, right??

mikael said...

the snakes and sam jackson are all just gonna blame arafat... or is that hamas (i.e. the "lizards")...?

Tristram said...

Does this make Kenan Thompson Condi....or a bomb?

J said...

You're just missing the bigger, bigger picture. Yeah, sure: the cool hero will win a symbolic battle, but snakes are gonna' win the war. That's all a given. But then the new snakes in power will behave like all the past snakes in power. And then they'll turn on their own, and we'll start complaining about how the damn grass snakes are now moving into all the swank areas that once only venomous king cobras were allowed. Crap like that. Snakes in power ain't nothing new.