Saturday, September 30, 2006

...and if the photo is proven to be a fake by an illegal immigrant, her head will explode.

We don't profess to know whether the photo Alex and Ken ran on Wonkette that seemed to depict a bikini-clad Michelle Malkin indulging in what is, frankly, her God-given right to cavort in a bikini, is a fake or not. You see, we're not one of those bloggers who goes around studying pixels and fonts and kerns. We're one of those bloggers that, you know, has a life. And, subsequently, we're one of those bloggers that happily spends that life mixing vodka and Vicodin, because--FIVE DAY WEEKENDS Y'ALL! Staten Island! This shit is updated by witches! Et fuckin' alia!

Seriously, though. We don't know. And we've read through her entire take on the matter on her site. It goes on FOREVER, and you have to forgive the fact that she's too obtuse to know that when Gawker says things like, "Of course, it's a fake!" they are being SARCASTIC. And after reading it, we aren't totally sure she's compiled the evidence that proves the picture is a fake, though she very well may have. (She may have, indeed, we just don't care to have that much of an investment in her well-being. She's always made it clear that she wished People Like Us ill, so, whatevs.)

Still, we would remind you that people make frolicsome poses in bikinis every day. It's not noteworthy or bad. It's only noteworthy in this case because Malkin's a shrill jihadist for probity and prudery who cannot stand the sight of glorious sluttery in action. Indeed, she's angry because this picture implies that she is what she most despises.

But we note two things, with irony. First, if this IS a picture of her, then at long last she has done something to substantively strike back at Islamic extremists. SLUTS MAKE OSAMA FEEL BAD, Michelle! It HURTSES their tiny little BRAINS! And your country needs you!

And, second, if the evidence she has compiled proves this is a fake, then that evidence, as you can see as you scroll through her obsessive litany of complaint, is chiefly propped up by a bunch of pictures from Webshots, shots like this:
Michelle, you better remember that if the skanks pictured above hadn't bravely gotten "drunk at 9 PM" and heroically documented this, you would never have been exonerated! I expect that, going forward, you'll have the decency to treat the freedom-loving sluts of Western Civilization with respect!

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