Monday, September 18, 2006

Candidate Rees Compounds Past Stupidities With Brand-New Ones

Last week, DCist relayed news that Jonathan Rees, Ward Three Council Candidate, known replicant, and conductor of his one-man crazy train, had decided, after going down to one of the most humiliating feats of electoral ineptitude ever seen in Washington, DC--indeed, perhaps the country, to get right back on the horse and announce his intention to run for the Ward 3 2010.

Oy. The man only managed to get 29 votes the first time. 29! Over a year's campaign, he managed to pull in a vote every two weeks or so. His repugnance propelled voters in the direction of Anyone But Rees at a rate of what? Thirty to one? He's done his best to manage the damage, creating one of his alter-egos to go public with the news had he had additional support that he threw to Paul Strauss and Bob Gordon--but no one in the world believes this, since no record of any formal announcement was made and if Rees had the power of telepathy, I'd have probably heard from him by now.

Anyhoo, in the days after the election, Rees sent out an announcement of his future intentions available on DC Messageboards:

I want the residents of Ward 3 to have a Council Member who represents them which Mary Cheh has already shown she will not do by whom she aligned herself with.

I am "that" person who will do for you what Mary Cheh will fail to do as I will not do what Mary Cheh has; namely, I will not stab the businesses and voters in the back and cave in to special interest groups as she did late in her 2006, campaign.

When I ran in the 2006, primary, I did so more as a test run by only spending $500.00, use of the internet and friends but for the 2010 primary, I will be heavily financed, heavily backed on the streets of ward 3 and build alliances of people who did not vote for Mary Cheh.

If you are one of the 24,000 Democrats in ward 3 who did not vote for or want to see Mary Cheh as our next Council Member and think we can do better, then contact me now so together we can build a strong opposition to her and in 2010 make her a one term council member.

Given the typical rhetorical flourishes from Rees, which more or less run along debased and inflammatory lines when they aren't downright libelous, this missive constitutes a comparative charm offensive from Rees, who makes a hat-in-hand appeal to a sizable portion of Ward 3 to work with him going forward in the hopes that he might make himself over as a less-addled and confrontational alternative to Mary Cheh.

I wonder what those 24,000 Ward 3 voters might think if they knew what Rees ACTUALLY thought of them?

Well, last week, the fantastic Circumlocutor stumbled upon a blog that Rees began in the hours after his ignominious defeat. Rees has gone back and removed many of the posts Circumlocutor cited, including one in which he referred to DC as "The Homo Depot"--which sounds awesome to a train station that's regularly swept and has a great brunch--and generally hating on probably Mayor Adrian Fenty.

Lucky for us, Google's cache managed to catch the post that Ward Three voters might want to remember:

Awesome. I'm guessing that most of you Ward Three residents would love nothing more than to be represented by someone who holds you in THAT kind of regard.

If only we could raise his post "Goodbye Home Rule" from the dead...oh, I promise you, it captured the candidate at his most petulant and resentful. He really though he was going to win this election! In that post, he talked with such alarm about the coming Fenty administration that he vowed to "liquidate his assets" in the area. Of course, the fastest means Rees has available to liquidate his assets would be to contract dysentery.

Rees has, perhaps in keeping with his new, friendly approach, made over his Crack City Blog into something that's a little less defamatory of the people he's hoping to reach. But what disturbs us the most are all the friendly overtures to my usual DC stomping grounds, Ward One. This, of course, fills me with worry. Hopefully, Mount Pleasant will redouble its sanitation efforts, lest Rees make the Evens' song a truism.


Anonymous said...

It appears as if his new blog will be edited frequently each day, since posts seem to appear and disappear with regularity.

The man is a crazy nuiscance. Howeverit is like a train wreck about to happen...You can't watch, but you can't look away either.

With respect to the whole Mt. Pleasant thing, he obviously lived in the Ward 1 area at least in the 2001/2002 time period (see his posts on Columbia Heights and U Street News Yahoo Groups) and of course, he claims to have befriended the whole Latino Liason Unit of the MPD hanging out with the guys in Mt. Pleasant (don't for get his impersonations of Officer Magana and Sgt. Espinal, and his website created for Espinal's foray into the police union leadership).

Yes, the man is nuts, but it is sad that the mainstream media have completely dropped the ball on him.

Anonymous said...

And let not forget the one in which he openly admires fictional mafiosi and falls just -this- short of claiming to be affiliated with actual ones (notice two that he fabricates allegations made against one ever accused him of murdering anyone.):

As a man who was born in Sicily, Italy, immigrated to the USA in 1958, grew up in an all Sicilian community outside of NYC which was infested with the who?s who of organize crime, is America ready for or want another Godfather movie?

I think with the crap that Hollywood has been churning out, sure, why not crank out The Godfather IV.

When I was running for ward 3 city council, I was accused of killing my former wives, suffering from a severe sociopathic disorder, had a judge and my probation officer whacked and thus when I consider the mindsets of DC people, why not another Godfather movie to quench their sick minds for blood and guts.

While I may have been born Giovanni Lucchese and the Lucchese are one of the most powerful Mafia Families ever, I would be willing to testify before any Senate Committee investigating organize crime that I was not planning the demise of the heads of my competing campaigns.

A Godfather IV movie surely would be a lot less violent than the ward 3 city council race. "

Anonymous said...

(Here's the Rees post in which he admires mafiosi.)

What would make DC a more lively place to live in would be; if we had some Goodfellas in the neighborhood.

Think of it, I am talking about some tough guys who would walk into any bar and have the place liven up, or a character like Joe Pesci who would confront the mayor and say, " Hey mayor - go fuck yourself" and see the mayor say ---sure thing Joe.

Think about it, every other city our size has some Goodfellas who know how to create the best restaurants, clubs and other businesses. Best of all, these Goodfellas would keep our politicians honest in their dishonesty. Ah yes, if we had some Goodfellas, DC might be a nicer place to live.

abe said...

This guy, Rees, if anonymous is correct in his last entry, needs to do a little research into the name Joe Nesline, and his descendants, who, last I heard, were still around but very low profile, as has always been the case for organized crime figures in the Washington Metropolitan area. They do it that way ON PURPOSE, as I recall.

Anonymous said...

Oh crap. We should have seen this coming.....

The poster above this post and below my previous one is quite likely TrollBoy himself.

DCEiver, I humbly beg your forgiveness. I have unintentionally invoked the forces of evil and loosed them on this once unsullied locale. I should not have mentioned him I cannot begin to express how sorry I am. I can only hope you'll find somewhay to efficiently quarantine the unholy contagion.

Don't play with Ouija boards, kids.

Anonymous said...

(unless I'm wrong of course. Then, y'know, as you were.)

Anonymous said...

Another classic Rees. He spells Luchese with on "s" months ago on DC Pages:

But with two "ss" today on his crazy ass blog. (screen shot exists)

Jonathan R. Rees said...

Sadly when my fellow trolls do things, I cannot expect them to spell correctly just as many have misspelled my name.

The fact that I annoy all of you freaks makes my day.

I love when you guys take things out of context which takes away from your credibility and the main-stream media saw that and chose to write you bloggers off as being worse than me.

Have a nice day freaks.

Jonathan R. Rees said...

I actaully got over 300 votes but 265 of them are being disputed.

Anonymous said...

The poster above was slightly wrong...Rees mispelled it using one c and then two cc's...he can change it on his blog, but the fact of the matter is, he cannot even lie about his own name correctly (and yes, there are screen shots of both).

The Deceiver said...

"I actaully got over 300 votes but 265 of them are being disputed."

Jeez, I would hope so!

Anonymous said...

How would you figure how many votes you have received, and what is in dispute?

The BOEE website provides a precinct by precinct count, all certified which show your immense following of 28 voters besides yourself. There are not enough write-in votes to arrive at this mythical 300 votes you seem to claim (and even if you had, so what, you would still be in a distant last place out of 9 candidates).

There are no chads on the ballots, and the count is fully accounted for.

You have some serious issues of delusion and granduer.

Anonymous said...


Please banish The Littlest Maniac from the premises.


Anonymous said...

"Goodbye Home Rule" seems to be preserved here.

Jonathan R. Rees said...

You flamers. Let's me educate you. I lived in Mt. Pleasant from 1979-1990 and in 2000-2004, I kept a tiny office in the basement unit of a Kilbourne Street Apt.

From 1990 to present, I have lived both here in DC and on the island of Puerto Rico.

Now the record is straight although none of you are!

The Deceiver said...

You best check yourself, bitch. My family's FROM Mount Pleasant. I represent--and you better learn to sit in the back seat and stay quiet, because I WILL reach back there and smack you.