Friday, September 15, 2006

This week in DCist

1. "Adrian Fenty? Boo! He will lead the city back to the fiscal apocalypse of the past!"

2. "Adrian Fenty? Hurray! He will lead the city onward toward the glorious apocalypse of the future!"

3. "Fuck off, Moby. You can get stomped by Obie. You're just jealous that Teaism kicks Teany's ass six ways from Sunday."

4. "Hi. I am an emotional cripple who has assembled a random assortment of words that purport to have something to do with Unbuckled, concert venues, sweatshops, indentured servitude, the fact that I am so self-centered that if I'm not having fun then no one else is by definition, my superior contribution to the music scene because I take unsolicited photos of bands and bake the most amazing cookies for bands and darn the dopest socks for bands, plus I'll name drop George Lakoff for reasons that even I couldn't explain if I had a million billion years and everyone around me was tranked up on Rohypnol and suffering from dysphasia. Anyway, I was just wondering, is there someplace I need to go to pick up the trophy for Stupidest Comment Ever, or should I just root through my stool as usual?"


Anonymous said...

Alternative 5:
5. I'm incapable of hearing a tinge of negative feedback without pitching a hissy and entering in a snarky, entirely personal attack at someone who's identity I don't even know.

Lakoff reference explanation: you've referenced George Lakoff in discussions, and frankly if someone's on-the-ball enough to be reading and thinking about issues of metaphor analysis and framing, then generally I (crazy, nutty me) expect them to not fall into thirteen-year-old-girlspeak with (your) remarks like "oh snap".

p.s. It was a straightforward explanation of why caring about the local band scene doesn't mean being blindly gung-ho about paying extra at the door. If the basic question of: "do the people doing the labor get the benefits from this cost" is really somehow an obscure, nutty, or difficult issue for you to grapple with... then, well, I'm surprised.

The Deceiver said...

Guess what: all the laborers benefitted. What's nutty is the overthinking, mixed with the melodrama, multiplied by self-evident delusion.

And, yeah: Oh, snap.

Gabriel Fry said...

Oh no he di'n't. I'm going to need greater specificity in these charts/graphs, insofar as DCist is now blocked at my office. I need them to be independently entertaining, as opposed to just being contextually entertaining. Also, I'd like fewer phrases like "issues of metaphor analysis and framing" unless they're followed immediately by humorously incongruous epithets like "bitch" and/or "nephew."