Friday, September 15, 2006

Wayback Machine!

Some of the following lines are from Joe Eszterhas' screenplay of the movie Showgirls.

Some of the following lines are from Supplemental Materials to the Referral to the United States House of Representatives Pursuant to Title 28, United States Code, Section 595 (c) Submited by the Office of the Independent Counsel, September 9, 1998, by Kenneth Starr.

Can you guess which are which?

THE CATTY INSULTS!
"He and those shitheads were standing there..."

"What are you looking at bitch?"

"Fuck you and the horse you rode in on..."

"She misses us like that lump on my twat I had taken off last week."

"My temptation would be to blast her a new asshole"

"I'd have to piss on you to give you a clue."


THE STRANGE, YET TELLING, NON-SEQUITURS!
"Oh, my feet itch!"

"I have a problem with pussy."

"Is there any toilet paper in here?"

"I was having my period...you don't want me to get blood all over the floor, do you?"


THE MINOR SKIN IRRITATIONS THAT SEX CAUSES!
"...it's hard to fake beard burn..."

"You got something wrong with your nipples?"


THE PASSIONS OF DISGRUNTLED EMPLOYEES!
"A bad job still sucks after twenty years..."

"If you want to last more than a week, you give me a blowjob. First I make you used to the money, then I make you swallow."


THE WEIRD REFLECTIVE RAMBLINGS
"I don't know. The idea of a leaf blower, it's like you blow--don't they just move somewhere else?"

"I've had dog food. Long time ago. Doggie Chow. I used to love Doggie Chow."


THOSE TENDER MOMENTS
"I love you, butthead."

"I liked it when you came."

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