Thursday, October 26, 2006

Greasers Don't Cry!

Wow. From FREEwilliamsburg, via Defamer. Meet Brian Atene. Trained at Juilliard, cited here as one of the finest institutions of classical actor training in the land. In the contemporary sense, we find that to be true. However, this video would have you believe that it was a highway offramp educational annex catering to unemployed soda fountain installers.

As you marvel at this audition tape, consider where Atene works in the following characterizations into his monologue:

  • Senile, homeless woman, Alabama, age 83.
  • Gay toreador from Coventry, England.
  • Will Forte working on a black preacher character that he will later discard as unwatchable.
  • Chicken, destined to end up a Kenny Rogers Roaster, five seconds from being gutted.

Actors: as this new millenium unfolds, this performance needs to be studied in depth.

The Rest Of You: If you've harbored affection for S.E. Hinton's novel The Outsiders, or the motion picture of the same name, you should take a minute to abandon all hope before you click the link.


Kathryn Is So Over said...

Holy shit.

I will say, sadly, that many of the acting students I met and saw perform at Juilliard last fall were equally wretched.

divine ms. k said...

Good gravy Marie.

Even Ralph Macchio's career is rolling in its grave.

The Cut said...

Where's Cherry Valance?

Duke Frankencow said...

I also hear he cleaned Jerry's apartment pretty well. He even Windexed the peephole.

DCepticon said...

I too was hurt by Stanley Kubrick's failure to direct 2010, but I would never have punished him like this.

Is it possible that this video was sitting in a drawer for 20 years and one day Kubrick found it and that is what killed him?

Castor OiL said...


He's probably kicking it right now at the Playboy Mansion with James Caan and Harold Ford.

Anonymous said...

Howard here:
Brian Atene surfaces! He's not hanging in the grotto with Jimmy Caan (sorry Castor Oil), but he posted his response to the release of his audition tape. Dude has put on some weight!

iza said...

Aha.. I found this related movie at

from Cancer Type