Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Katherine Harris Prepares to Assign Blame

The Washington Post today reports that the eminent malignable Florida Congresswoman Katherine Harris, currently attempting to outduel Alan Keyes' 2004 foray into Illinois to have the honor of losing to Barack Obama as the most inanely quixotic campaign challenge in U.S. history, is writing something of a tell-all book, in which she will have her revenge upon those who have wronged her--the GOP leadership who tried to talk her out of the race, the staffers who suffered her abuse, and the media who dared cover these events.

"I've been writing it all year," Harris says. And, believe it or not, the distraction of writing a hardcover slambook (working title: Fuck All'Y'all) is, nevertheless, the tiniest of factors in her being down 25-35% in the polls. (The margin of error for those polls, by the way, could not be ascertained because the margin of error is so sure Harris is going to lose that it's lending its support to the beleaguered margin of error in the Webb-Allen race.)

The Post quotes Darryl Paulson, a political scientist at USF, as saying: "The only way Bill Nelson could lose this is if he got himself in a drug-induced stupor and ran naked down the main street of his home town." So, on behalf of everyone who wanted to see this race reach the only place it had left to go: thanks for ruining everything, Darryl Paulson!

As for Harris' book, we can't wait to read it, and we hope that Harris is writing it without the aid of a ghostwriter. Partly because we want to experience the full force of Ms. Harris' undiluted literary talents, and partly because, based on her prior relationships with underlings, the Harris-hires-a-ghostwriter scenario sounds like a pretty salable treatment for Saw IV. One thing's for sure, Alex Pareene better get to blurb it.

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