Tuesday, October 03, 2006

OMG! Foley was on his way to a vote!

Damn, people! According to my Loyal Retainer, Shayna, it looks like Mark Foley WILL be able to claim "On The Way To A Vote" Immunity Privilege!

Maf54: ok..i better go vote..did you know you would have this effect on me
Teen: lol I guessed
Teen: ya go vote?I don't want to keep you from doing our job
Maf54: can I have a good kiss goodnight
Teen: :-*
Teen: [kiss]

This is big news, and it raises a whole lot of fun questions that most Americans hoped that this great nation would never have to ask. Such as:

  • The "effect" Foley described, did it have an effect on his vote? I mean, after I have a particularly satsifying wank, I'm often in such a good mood that I think to myself, "What the fuck? I'm going to vote to allocate $6 million more dollars to rural farm subsidies! Because I'm WALKING ON SUNSHIIIIIINE, YEAAA-HEAAAH."
  • In 2003, Foley once interrupted a House vote to spank his little Boy Scout! How will the people feel knowing their business was put off so that Foley could make some tainted love? Is it a winning message for the Democrats to be able to forthrightly tell the people that they are the Party of Being Able To Get Sucked Off While Simultaneously and Successfully Conducting High-Level International Talks?
  • What did Hastert know and when did he know about it? Specifically, did he know enough about Foley's proclivities to be able to say, "Ergh. Foley's talking. He'll need to go jerk it any minute now. Will I have time to run and get a cruller? Damn. I love me some crullers."
  • Most damningly, Foley speaks on IM to a teenager about the teens fake ID, saying "We may need to drink at my house so we don't get busted" for serving alcohol to a minor. Could this mean that Foley has been so busy spankin' it that he hasn't had time to LEARN ABOUT THE EXISTENCE OF MCFADDEN'S??
[The Blotter, "New Foley Instant Messages; Had Internet Sex While Awaiting House Vote"]


Anonymous said...

are there "urban farm subsidies"?

The Deceiver said...

There are urban farms, so there probably are subsidies, but no, they're not pulling in $6 million of Federal scratch, that's for sure.

DC1974 said...

Continuity note here. No Illinoisan wants a cruller. Wisconsinite, yes. Mainer, probably. I'm sure he doesn't know a cruller from a bubbler. He eats donuts. And by the looks of it, lots of 'em.

The Deceiver said...

I actually read a fantastic and informative post elsewhere on this very subject...will post on it later.

dicconzane said...

He was on his way to a vote? Why did no one say. That makes it fine then surely. I recently wiped out a small tribe on my way to a vote so that was fine too.

lgt said...

hey, maybe this is all to divert attention from what the republicans think of as their great white hope: george allen.

(or not.)

and, why is he saying he's gay? why are the republicans slandering the name of good, non-pedophile, man-lovin' men everywhere? geez.