Friday, October 20, 2006

Our Most Missed Connection Ever.

Wow. We arrived just a few minutes too late. Soon enough to hear the scuttlebutt on the sidewalk, but we wrote it off as just aural hallucination until we read this item confirming how close we came to meeting.

Let me break it down. You: the tongue-tied, soft-headed leader of the free world. Me: Regionally recognized dick. We came in looking for a Diet Dr. Pepper. The place: the CVS at Thomas Circle. For heavens sake, Mr. President...what were you doing there? Were you picking up some Kools for Condi? Hitting up the semi-functional ATM? Not buying beer, right? because, you can't, you know? Also, I hear you don't, also. I can tell you, that particular CVS has a strange layout--doors that dump you out on different streets, load bearing poles that are poorly placed in places people should obviously be standing, aisles that seem to taper to a point--not the ideal place for someone who's got no skillz when it comes to exit strategy.

It's too bad we showed up late to your unexpected appearance. We curse our timing and the brief meeting we had to take to resolve an issue with a bunch of audio files that kept us from being there at the same time. You see, I've always dreamed of asking you a question that no one in the press corps has ever asked:

"Why is it that you, a New Englander, walk around talking with a fake Texas accent?"

4 comments:

Ed said...

Ha! Would love to hear the answer to that question. I am from Ohio but grew up in Texas, and I don't have some outrrrrrrrageous accent (cf. Monty P.); I sound like I'm from Ohio.

Poseur.

Also, I've never cleared a brush in my life, but I know that a "ranch" has "animals" on it.

Anonymous said...

I've always wanted to ask him a basic math question.

Like what is 46+22

Anonymous said...

46+22= 68

Kriston said...

46+22= 68

No one's fooled, Cheney!