Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Donald Rumsfeld Set to Spend More Time Inciting Civil Wars with Family,

Just a few days after it was announced that Saddam Hussein would hang for his crimes, there come rumors that the man who encouraged and provided the material support for those crimes will no longer be our Secretary of Defense. Yes, Donald Rumsfeld, our delightfully addlepated harbinger of unknown knowns and known unknowns will be made to walk the plank for everything going to hell.

This is like the morning after Christmas, when your mom realizes that she left a really cool gift hidden behind the couch the day before.

Of course, knowing Bush, he'll just unleash some other white-skinned, dread Morlock motherfucker from the Phantom Zone to join his Cabinet of Dr. Caliguri. Or--even worse--appoint Joe Lieberman. Let's hope the Senate situation prevents that from happening.

Don't cry for Rumsfeld, though. He'll enjoy many years of having taxpayer dollars funnelled into his gullet through the distended teat of the Carlyle Group. Eventually he'll die, but, remember: HIS CORPSE WON'T BURN.

2 comments:

PK said...

So, presumably this was kind of a plea bargain for Bush, right? Pelosi told him she'd hold off on all the inquiries if Rumsfeld was dropped today...

Because the other alternative - that he somehow didn't want to appear weak by dropping Rumsfeld before the election - sort of dispels the notion of Rove as an election-strategy mastermind. If he had done this two weeks ago, the GOP would almost certainly retain the Senate. Now it looks unlikely, to say the least...

Awesome Comet said...

In the re the next evil motherfucker ... I am given to understand the new guy is an alumn of the CIA under 40 and 41, and was awful close to the Iran Contra scandal.

So since it'll be harder to make Iraqis lives more miserable officially, in public, we'll have to resort to waging an insulated secret war below radar. Makes sense.