Wednesday, November 29, 2006


  1. Delaware: exactly as shitty as anticipated. Really, once you get north of Burbtimore, and you have the miles o' dull from Maryland House and Chesapeake House doing nothing but reminding you how shitty it's going to be (to say nothing about the random toll plaza at Port Deposit), that part of the annual trip has become nearly insufferable. And in the dreary rain, it's 10x worse. Hisscakes.
  2. Jughandles. Explain these. Why, oh why, can I not simply take the exit off the Garden State and turn LEFT ON BLOOMFIELD AVENUE? Why must I drive across the street, all around Robin Hood's barn, get stopped at two additional places and make a right hand version of the left turn I can make everywhere else? Explain, Jerz. I am a good egg. I have taught many of your people to pump the gas, and I have done so with a song in my heart. Meet me halfway.
  3. One of the Nephews of DCeiver has turned the front-porchy mud-roomy thing into something of an art installation dedicated to the glories of Thanksgiving. Blake Gopnik would have vomited, but, then, he's a humorless tweeze, isn't he? I say, get me Art-O-Matic on the phone. And how cute was it that one piece enshrined the annual DCeiver family visit as a holiday highlight! Shucks.
  4. We brought back a new kitten, too. With shots and everything donated by the good people at the West Caldwell Animal Hospital. It's where we do all our Northern New Jersey-based kitten adopting. His name is Declan and he likes to gnaw on our skulls whilst we sleep. That's right: just lays there on the pillow and gets a good gnaw going. That is, by the way, punk as fuck. And he has the same birthday as you, Zak. That has to mean something.
  5. By the way, apparently the Day After Thanksgiving is the best day ever in life to have a theatre show going on, and the audiences: KINDA RAMBUNCTIOUS. The bring-up from the trytophan crash is always the best. We should always schedule something on that day.
  6. I missed the Hold Steady concert, which means I missed All Time DC Nice Guy of Rock Eric Axelson's new band as well. THS has been very good to the area--three shows inna year. Thanks, to them. The Governess has written what is quite possibly the best review of a Hold Steady show ever--and if you don't get it, just don't get it.
  7. I missed Sommer's birthday celebration, too. Happy birthday, editrix!
  8. Okay, as far as old school Atari games go, I thought I'd seen them all. Until this holiday, when I saw BIRD WEEK. Yes: BIRD WEEK. BIRD WEEK is so g.d. fubar that I can't even describe. You are a bird. You have to catch butterflies, and, whilst avoiding other birds, get your ass back to the nest, use your digestive juices to turn the butterflies into an edible marm, regurgitate the marm into the hungry maws of your baby birds until they are grown up enough to leave the nest. On level two: motherfuckin' chipmunks get all Yuen Yo Peng on yr ass if you aren't careful. It is gloriously fucked-up and stultifyingly dull. I have no doubt that there is a generation of serial killers in our midst for whom the forensic profile reads: "Played a lot of BIRD WEEK.
  9. Oh. Play that shit right here.
  10. The Pick of Destiny? If you like that sort of thing, then, YES.
  11. MONSTER: done. Twelve days until rehearsals start up again. That's time enough for me.
  12. Life=seemingly good. We'll let you know how our auto mechanic's counter-argument to that premise goes, though. We're sure he's got the needles to prick our balloons.


The Cut said...

Declan in the front, party in the rear. It justs helps to strengthen the 28th as a true power number. Not to mention another Libra in the cat world balancing out all of those weird feline curiousities.

Chairman said...

Did you forget about Calculator? Now that is an amazing game!!