Thursday, November 09, 2006

Thus Endeth The Macacalypse.

Can I just say that the first twenty-four minutes of a George Allen-free Virginia have been AWESOME. I'm guessing the next twenty-four will only get better. Sweet Mary in the morning, I am STYCHED.

So many people to thank right now. First off: S. R. Siddarth has got a MOTHERFUCKIN' POSSE. We've already heard a commenter call for an Obama-Siddarth ticket in '08. How fast can you turn 35, S. R.? Let's make this happen. Man, if I didn't have a show tonight I'd be driving down to the Hook to buy your ass some hot wings at Maarten's. My wish for you, S. R., is that you spend the coming weekend neck deep in Phi Mu pussy, knowing deep in your heart that I fully support your Lawn application.

Let's also thank Jews worldwide, for possessing the honorable qualities that make men like George Allen quake with shame. Maccabees shoot down macacabees. Adam Sandler: DO NOT ADD ALLEN TO THE HANUKKAH SONG. Next spring break, let's take Malibu back for the Tribe, too!

To whoever the female pilot who gave Jim Webb the ride of his life--we thank you. Next time, just remember to report anyone who doesn't show any interest in landing the plane.

Larry Sabato, I don't know, man...I just can't stay mad atcha! Gimme a hug, you mustachioed ponce!

Thomas Jefferson, thanks for penning the Virginia Statute of Religious Freedom. We'll put the gay-haters in their place yet.

To the University of Virginia, thanks for not allowing George Allen's quarterbacking statistics to see the light of day. People just naturally assumed he was awful, and every little bit helped.

To the rear end of every horse George Allen ever rode--wow, you DO look just like him!

Tonight, every Virginian will return home to find a special gift in the mailbox: the head of a deer named freedom! Sic semper, my bitches!


Kathryn Is So Over said...

Yeah, go Virginia!

Except that whole backwards not-supporting-civil-unions thing. Bastids.

Anonymous said...

Wow, angry much? Relax, go outside, have a smoke, whatever. It's not that big of a deal... Well, except for that whole backwards-not-supporting-civil-unions thing (Sorry kathryn, I liked the turn of phrase and it captured my sentiments...)

Cheevie said...

Anonymous, poor dear, seems to have some difficulty understanding the concept and purpose of blogging itself.

By the way, the "much?" construction was pronounced dead 8 months ago, following a long struggle with the effects of prolonged over-use.

Carpetblogger said...

Ok, we get it - you went to UVA. But, yes - being free of Mr. Ham Sandwich is pretty nice.