Wednesday, November 01, 2006

What's the sound you hear just before fifteen House races go right back in play?

Oh, man. You know, it's not even necessary to finish the sentence when it starts with the words, "John Kerry, attempting a joke..." I mean, we know how that's going to end. The same rule applies if you ever hear a sentence begin this way: "The DCeiver, attempting to pilot a dirigible..." I know what's next! Fiery holocaust and doom for everyone and everything you ever held dear!

But this would never have happened if we had been giving those kids advice. When we're asked about how the next generation can best position themselves for success, we always say the same thing: "Holy shit, kids. If you don't want to end up in Iraq, fuck being smart. Be rich, or, failing that, gay. Either way, you won't die." That's just telling the truth.

Here's what we want to know: What were the odds that two days before the 2006 midterms, someone would have actually pointed a camera at John Kerry and Phil Angelides? What were they doing? Filming the two men's living wills?

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