Saturday, December 30, 2006

Saddam is Dead as United States begins search for new straw man.

Whoopdee. Some fourteen years after it would have been the smart thing to do, Saddam Hussein was executed sometime before or after dawn in Iraq. A bad man, enabled by worse men, Hussein was a vital U.S. asset and ally until he wasn't anymore. Luckily, what were once his "orders" could conveniently be turned into "crimes", and, equally conveniently, it turned out the U.S. gave him the thumbs up to doing some particularly fucked up shit. Like gassing his own people. Remember when he did that? Remember how the U.S. smiled and said, "Aw, you just go right ahead Saddam!" We were quite a team back then, the U.S. and Saddam. Quite a team.

Saddam's execution comes as a nice consolation prize for the neoconservatives, who were and are and likely ever will be wrong about everything and who consistently finish dead last in the intellect category. Why, just today, one of their ilk, Joe Lieberman, insisted that it was time to go to war with Iran. Somehow, he was able to insist this despite having spent the past four years proposing and supporting a line of policy that only strengthened Iran's hand by providing them with a compliant client state in Iraq while sapping our morale at home and our military strength abroad. Is it absinthe he drinks? Is LSD kosher? Was Mike Judge's Idiocracy deemed unsuitable for a theatrical release because it was too depressingly REAL?

The Iraqis got some lovely parting gifts as well. Mainly, they parted with their limbs, and their future. But now one guy, who presided over a military incapable of boiling soup and who had nothing to do with 9-11 is dead. Hopefully, we aren't actually killing the Iraqis FASTER than Saddam did. Because, wow. That would be bad. I think the reason we never ask if we are is because it would probably hurt us, deep inside, to know the answer to that question.

Anyway, Saddam is dead, and the President probably came in Condoleeza's mouth when he heard the news. I'm sure it was a tangy dollop.


Gibson said...

Couldn't have said it better myself. Aside from our complicity in all of his war crimes, the death penalty is just idiotic. There's a reason why the UN tribunals refuse to employ it.

blogs t r e t c h said...

In one of the most stunningly American moments of my life, I heard the announcement that Saddam had been hanged from the announcer at a strip club in Texas.