Monday, February 19, 2007

The 24gasm: 2:00pm

  1. Let's start by congratulating Fayed one more time on his impossible, 180 second escape. Good thing the superintendent totally allowed you to tear out walls and ceilings to build your rope ladder escape! Good thing that helicopter was stashed a short distance away! Oh, and, naturally, CTU's satellite tracking ability totally fails them. You'd think it would be EASIER to track a helicopter. Also, why not bring along those gunships from the first couple hours that were all ready to kill Assad to give chase to Fayed's helicopter. Look. All we're saying is: Marwan earned his escapes, man.
  2. Jack did get some excellent, "I am entering CTU for the first time" underscoring. I have no idea why Jack pauses to look around, all surprised by his surroundings. They haven't changed anything about this office since he started working there.
  3. Jack softens a bit when he is exposed to that unspoken love between he and Chloe. "He yells at me for satellite coverage, I take out my frustrations on everyone else around me, and at might, I fuck like a cougar menacing his daughter. Somehow, we pull together a workable like by knitting together the strands of myriad personal dysfunction."
  4. Ahhh, the CTU medical facility. How many losers have met their end there? The fact that no one's died there this year is one of the things that makes this season so extraordinary. And that's why Chloe wants Morris to come back to work so badly. It's only a matter of time before someone down there dies. Morris isn't having it. "Because of me, Abu Fayed can detonate all the nukes he wants!" Cheer up Morris! He can only do it three more times!
  5. Just a couple of episodes ago, Morris was all: "Listen, Palm Springs Hating Chick, if anything else happens, it's on you!" Whatever happened to blaming that woman? That sounded like a pretty good plan.
  6. You know, as shitty as it would be to work for a company that asked you to return to your desk after a terrorist has driven a power drill into your shoulder, keep in mind, CTU is a company that would go out and get revenge-backsies on anyone who's wronged you. I mean, you try getting that sort of loyalty at Booz Allen, and Hamilton.
  7. On the other hand, most of us don't work in a place where, on our worst days, someone from "Division" comes down to our office to chew us out and threaten to make us jump through thirty more bureaucratic hoops.
  8. Assad speaks of having used the language of faith as a dishonest means of roping in followers. It's been one of aspects of fundamentalist terrorism that, for my money, has gone unexplored--are the leaders of these movements true believers? Master manipulators? Is there intention really to forcibly graft religious doctrine on innocent third parties, or to use the language of religious zealotry to prop up more small minded pursuits--money, power, regional influence? Or is it a combination of both? Seriously, experts: this is one of those areas I wish I knew more about.
  9. There's a nice use of the split screen: Biscuit, in full on Smeagle-mode, seems to seep through the side of the screen, like a terrible thought in Wayne Palmer's head.
  10. Biscuit and Chad Lowe meet up in the White House Bunker's sub-basement, where a full on recreation of the room in which Ed Norton and Brad Pitt hosted their Fight Club has apparently been lovingly recreated and installed.
  11. Chad Lowe: "I'm just The Conduit, not The Architect." WTF? Why is Chad Lowe speaking like he's on the set of The Matrix. "You must find the Merovingian, and keep CTU from discovering the location of Zion."
  12. You know, speaking of, I never saw the third Matrix movie...and I was one of the apparent few who actually liked the second one! Even the Zion rave scene! Am I missing out?
  13. Oh, yes! I definitely think sheltering Josh from The Awful Truth is definitely the way to go. I mean, what better way can there be than to finally put all this Bauer family angst behind them!
  14. If the Family Ties theme were about the Bauers and not the Keatons, it would go: "What would we dooo, babeee...without us? What would we do, babyyyyy...without uuusss? We'd do more or less anything because our crippling fear of intimacy might not be so deeply ingrained if it weren't for all of the resentments we harbor and the deeply rooted complexes we encourage as we do the most commonplace things every daaaaayyy. Sha la la laaaaaa!"
  15. Well, the latest plan to stop Fayed basically involves Jack and Rena Sofer driving around Los Angeles looking for a house "Graem" once visited. It sounds like a long shot, but, CTU has a pretty good track record when it comes to driving cars and having vague memories.
  16. Wait...CTU is just going to let Philip Bauer leave? Has he been "debriefed?" Have they closed the socket they opened on him? He was a person of interest just hours ago!
  17. And, seriously, Rena are going to let your son go out and run around a nuked up Los Angeles when he could stay in a fortified bunker? Does this make sense to anyone? Other than the fact that that fortified bunker has proven to be the most dangerous and pregnable place on Earth through the past few seasons.
  18. Wait...they are sending Milo along? Oh, that's bad. CTU's track record is at it's lowest when they send analysts out into the field. This means certain doom is going to befall them.
  19. Gradenko, Schmadenko. I am getting sick of all the Police reunion synergy.
  20. "You should be less obvious, Chloe." Uhm...not physiologically possible.
  21. The only thing you can say as Rena gets Phillip Bauer's Phonecall of Certain Blackmail is "Tell Jack. Always tell Jack! Always tell Jack!" Again, after all these years, I'm surprised that network stations in Los Angeles don't run "The More You Know" spots that just say, "Is your life in danger? Can you not decide, in the face of certain disaster, which move to make? Are you worried that you can only solve your world-threatening problems by suffering in silence? Tell Jack Bauer. It's the smart thing to do. Tell him."
  22. Gradenko's still out looking for a piece of Cold War revenge? Damn, old timer...the cool old-school Russkies are getting it done with Polonium poisoned teapots...and they aren't trying to deflect the blame! They are making sure the motherfucking trail comes back to them--let the world know you're still kicking it. The way Grandenko's going about it is out-of-step with the current state of the art and completely lacking in style points.
  23. Morris comes back to work all for the love of a stern woman. Just like Dick Cheney.
  24. Duh! Bomb! Whatevs! Cf., CTU's history of raiding empty houses. Those who do not read the previous seasons of 24 are doomed to allow the lacy writers to repeat them.

1 comment:

Bram Reichbaum said...

Yeah, odd. I thought I liked the 2nd matrix movie, and oddly never bothered to see the 3rd. I think that means I actually didn't care for the 2nd one at all, but couldn't admit it to myself.

I also never watched 24 ... couldn't get into it ... until I started reading the 24gasms recently. Totally took the show off the pedestal and made in the enjoyable, mad-hatter romp that it is.