Friday, February 02, 2007

Michael Chertoff: Security Bozo

As if the unilaterally embarrassing story of the City of Boston losing their collective shit over an advertising campaign needed one final humiliating postscript, we hear today that Secretary of Homeland Security Michael Chertoff offered Boston officials a round of congratulations for their vigilance. We can only presume that Michael Chertoff delivered his message via bleating it out in Morse Code on a squeeze horn while wearing face paint and a red rubber nose, because we simply cannot imagine a serious-minded, grown-ass man responding to the news of Boston's collective idiot attack in any other way than wanting to slam their head against the wall. Frankly, that Chertoff didn't haul off on Boston scares us, and we really have no other choice than to raise the "George Bush and his Administration Have No Fucking Idea What They Are Doing" Threat Index to the color of Fred Willard in A Mighty Wind.

"Wha happen?"

Maybe we need to allocate funds so that Boston can obtain some Lite-Brite sniffing dogs that can rush over to the bomb-sniffing dogs to tell them, "Yo, I'm tellin' you. That's a god damned Lite-Brite." I mean, I think even the Pygmalii's dog can handle that task. I'm willing to try anything since I can only imagine that everyone involved in this mess has totally managed to embolden the Iraqi insurgency.

That said, we cannot help but note that Adult Swim seemed to have consciously avoided running this marketing campaign in Washington, DC. If it turns out that they passed on DC because they were worried the campaign might draw the attention of security, well...that would be an embarrassing thing for Boston's DA to find during a discovery process, wouldn't it?

Anyway, we cannot wait until Adult Swim markets an upcoming Assy McGee movie.

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