Thursday, March 22, 2007

THE AUDACITY OF DOPES: Let the bloodletting commence.

Here we are, bitches. 2007. And the campaign for President be ON. Soon, the news will be inundated with reports from the frosty fronts of the primary season. And the pundits will speak the names of those who will vie for the top spot. Names like Clinton, Romney, McCain, Obama. Some of the people running are entirely unqualified to lead the nation. Some of the people running are certifiably insane. Some of the people running are Chris Dodd. And, in November of 2008, you--the American people--are going to set one of these douchebags up the bomb.

Why, American people, why? Why will you do this to me? Don't answer that. My research has proved that a great wide swath of you are terminally stupid, and that another, equally wide swath just hates me personally. So I know: in our deadly and delicate dance of political machinations, I am doomed. I'm almost used to it.

This of course, leads me with no alternative than to decry the entire enterprise as a dog and pony show that will inexorably lead to not a thing getting improved in America until our Chinese masters save us from the rampaging terrormonging warriors we've let loose on the world to cripple our hopes and drain away all of our disposable income. I'm already practicing cracking down on Falun Gong participants, and you should do the same.

Seriously. Look at Bill Richardson. Do you seriously think THAT'S the guy who's going to save the cheerleader? Or Mitt Romney? (His name is MITT. MITT!) Gahh. You need your fucking head examined.

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