Monday, March 05, 2007

Live! From a Conference Final You Couldn't Possibly Give a Shit About!

Like most people from around these parts, our heartstrings were tugged upon mightily last year when George Mason went on their impossibly crazy run through the NCAA Tourney to reach the Final Four. We marvelled, we cheered, we witnessed things that we thought were nigh on impossible--like several hundred Mason students actually gathering together at a campus location that was not the Dharma Coffeehouse or TT Reynolds or Planet Nova. It was a moment for the underdog, the little guy, or, if you like, people who just think Billy Packer is an ill-informed douchebag. And he is, friends, he is.

Well, I'm here to tell you, with hours before Mason suits up to play in the CAA Final, FUCK ALL THAT NOISE.

a. Virginia Commonwealth University is the DCeiver's OTHER alma mater. The red-headed stepchild of an alma mater. I didn't even go to my graduation at VCU. Probably, me and the other recently minted MFAs got plowed at Matt and Tommy's house. (Holla if you know the pleasures of Matt and Tommy's house, y'all.)

b. My brother is pining away for a second bid for whatever conference Appalachian State plays in. He was prophetic in his desire that they not meet the hometown College of Charleston in the semis. Davidson won the automatic bid.

See, if App State is to have any hope of getting to the dance, teams like VCU have got to step up and take care of business and make their #1 seed count for something. So, Mason students and alums, to you I say: suck a nad. You're going home tonight.

Hopefully, anyway.

And, should VCU win, I will immediately start my Selection Committee lobbying, wherein I send everyone on the committee a postcard that reads: "Old Dominion University? Really? Really."

Go VCU Rams! Or whatever the fuck animal you guys are!

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