Friday, June 29, 2007

Widely-despised Wackjob Plots Return to Congress.

Shelley Sekula Gibbs, who got to be Congresswoman for about a week last year because it's been well accepted that America just doesn't have to make a lick of goddamned sense anymore, is busy rubbing her clawed hands together, plotting and planning a way to return to Congress and fulfill what her tiny pea-sized brain tells her is her destiny of representing a district full of dickwads in Texas.

Walk through the corridors of any of the House Office Buildings, and you'll come to realize that the majority of the people who you come across, are howling, implacable dicks. So, consider: if the howlingest dick of them all was Tom Delay (and he was), you'd have to be a right featherbrained asshole to be able to work for him. Then, consider the fact that Shelley Sekula Gibbs was so awesome in her towering, alienating unlikeability, that not even the fuckjobs who worked for Delay found it possible to be in her presence for even an hour without experiencing a supernova grade spasm of unadulterated repulsion, and they walked out en masse, rather than stay at work for her, spend the next few weeks jerking each other's grizzled, flaccid knobs, and collect the easiest paycheck they'd ever earn in their horrible, misbegotten lives.

So, if Shelley Sekula Gibbs makes it back to Congress, you can only imagine that she will be staffed by people who make the terrifying, oily, tentacled demons found in H.P. Lovecraft novels look like Santa's elves. And that possibility would really piss me off if I didn't feel that deep down, most of Gibbs' potential colleagues and co-workers didn't truly deserve it.

No comments: