Friday, July 06, 2007

Building Dedicated to Empty, Harebrained Gestures Opened in Los Angeles.

Everyone who really believes that impeaching President Bush is, was, or ever will be something that might actually happen in a million billion years now at least has a building within which they can shelter in place and attempt to ride out the coming Apocalypse for the New American Century, which we heard Wolfowitz is in charge of. Two days ago, Maxine Waters officially inaugurated the opening of the Impeachment Center at 8124 West 3rd Street--the address at which your dreams of the ideal Jeffersonian democracy will go to briefly cower and later, die.

Of course, for those who have managed to forget that our own Vice President recently ruled that his office sits in some sort of nebulous Phantom Zone branch of the government where people who are just allowed to go around shooting anyone they want in the face can relax, sip upon the VSOP stem cells of war orphans, and keep their collection of 28 Days Later rage monkeys locked up in man-sized safes for safekeeping, this Impeachment Center is seen as a vital resource in a time when the commutation of Scooter Libby seems to add a scintilla of hope that actual outrage might coalesce against the Bush administration. Impeachment proponents seem to believe in something called "The Libby Motion"--which sounds like, you know--the worst dance move ever, but actually refers to the belief that "the president's commuting of Libby's prison sentence could create precedent" that "would allow other perjurers and obstructers of justice to serve zero days in jail too."

Naturally, they forget that Scooter Libby has one unique circumstance that trumps any outside precedent, and that is the fact that he is President Mini-Me's good buddy, and it's been well established that the President only sends the retards that aren't his personal friends to the gas chamber. The Libby decision is thus a part of the rich legal tradition that was established in the SCOTUS' utterly chicken per curiam opinion in Bush v. Gore, in which the anonymous ruling specifically stipulated that the ruling in that case could not ever be applied to any future case ever--which is probably a good thing, since most legal experts will tell you that the reasoning behind Bush v. Gore isn't so much a proper application of legal principle as it is a succulent dollop of magical horseshit.

At any rate, The Impeachment Center celebrated the Fourth of July be hosting an Impeachment Center Picnic. So, yeah...that'll show 'em.

No comments: