Thursday, July 26, 2007

Grandfather of Dingbat President Apparently Tried To Overthrow The Government

Surprise, surprise! Apparently dark wonderings about the Bush family are no longer the extra special province of tin-foil hat wearers and the newly-minted poltergeists of the Iraq War dead. Today, we get word that historical research placed Prescott "The Devourer" Bush at or near the center of some crazy plot to turn America into a nation of Mussolini rim-lickers.

A BBC Radio 4 investigation sheds new light on a major subject that has received little historical attention, the conspiracy on behalf of a group of influential powerbrokers, led by Prescott Bush, to overthrow FDR and implement a fascist dictatorship in the U.S. based around the ideology of Mussolini and Hitler.
Oh, excellent. Apparently the idea was for a bunch of Wall Street fuckjobs to band together with "with the help of half-a-million war veterans" in order to overthrow Franklin Delano Roosevelt and his heroic, magical talking dog, Fala. Among the plotters were the moguls behind Maxwell House, Bird's Eye, Teresa Heinz-Kerry, the Gorton's Fisherman, and probably the makers of Ovaltine--the most fascist drink known to man. The plot of course, foundered, because Maxwell House coffee tastes like chicory-infused canal water and because Prescott Bush was a weak-willed pussy.

Flash-forward to today, and his grandson has the golden opportunity to take over a country filled with meth-heads and people obsessed with Lindsay Lohan's seven-hundred DUI arrests, and what does the dumb piece of shit do? He tries to take over Iraq instead! LOL! They have, like, a shit-ton of heavily armed death squads there! LOL! Asshole!

Ironically, I'd bet you could scrounge up half a million war veterans right now that'd be willing to overthrow America. Don't worry, though! At some point, after she sobers up, it'll be Jenna's turn, and finally all the trains will run on time because they'll be powered by the blood of the working poor. Let freedom ring!

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