Monday, July 02, 2007

THE SYSTEM WORKS! Bush Commutes the Sentence of Celebrated Asshole.

Hey, America! The President would like to reaffirm Boss Cheney's sentiment to all of you: GO FUCK YOURSELVES! That's right, years after news of the Valerie Plame fiasco broke, in which the President refused to comment on the ongoing investigation but promised to take the whole matter very seriously and make sure that anyone who broke the law is dealt with, Bush turned around today and commuted the douchebag's sentence. Because why the fuck should anyone have to take responsibility for anything anymore? That brief period of hope we all felt when that dimwit cooze Paris Hilton was actually, finally, sent to jail for a few hours for getting drunk behind the wheel and endangering people is now over. FUCK IT! Take advantage. Go knock over a liquor store, John Q. Public! Who's going to hold you to accounts?

Thank you, President Bush, for giving al Qaeda and Satan and the Silver Surfer and everyone else who hates America something to celebrate for the Fourth of July!

Still, there is a silver lining to be found, namely, that all the idiots who gave money to the Scooter Libby Defense Fund. All those solicitations made to arm Libby with the best representation possible, and Bush just goes and undoes it all by fiat. Everyone who ponied up money to keep Scootsie out of the clink have officially been made to look like the chumps that they are. YOU GOT PLAYED, AND ALL OF YOU ARE ASSHOLES!

Celebrate Scooter Libby's good fortune this week by please please please finding him on the street and tossing a brick at his head. In 2007, it's vigilante justice or nothing!

1 comment:

tom said...

I don't know -- I've read some suggestions that SL Defense Fund may be able to be directed toward the $250k fine he has to pay. Also, he's still going to appeal. So sadly, it's likely that it won't be good money after bad, and instead remain good money after downright evil.