Wednesday, August 08, 2007

The Audacity of Dopes: Welcome to Florida!

The ongoing saga of Florida Representative Bob Allen, who is/was the co-chair of John McCain's campaign efforts in Florida (such as they are), is absolutely hysterical. Oh! And, absolutely, weirdly, racist, because the excuse he offered up was that he found himself surrounded by "the Blacks!"--and, because he did not want to become "a statistic," naturally, offered to pay one of them twenty dollars and blow him for good measure. Makes perfect sense! There's so much talk in behavioral studies circles about the "fight or flight response" that hardly anyone mentions the equally common "fight, flight, or suck a cock response." More study needs to be done! I nominate Allen to serve as the very skittish guinea pig.

Until then, I'll have to add Allen to a spreadsheet I've started:

List of Human Beings Who Expect Me to Believe That They Would Proffer Payment and Oral in Response to the Imminent Threat of Bodily Harm.
1. Bob Allen

Oh, look, Bob! You became a statistic anyway. Douchebag.

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