Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Tucker Carlson's Bathroom Follies

So, yesterday, Tucker Carlson spoke of some incident that took place in some bathroom that sounded awfully like he was propositioned by another guy in a bathroom, so he left the bathroom, got a friend, returned to the bathroom, and teed off on the guy. Now, something about this story didn't add up with us. The thought of Carlson contributing to a physical beatdown...well, look at the guy! That's just laughable on its face.

Tucker cleared it all up today, though:

“Let me be clear about an incident I referred to on MSNBC last night: In the mid-1980s, while I was a high school student, a man physically grabbed me in a men’s room in Washington, DC. I yelled, pulled away from him and ran out of the room. Twenty-five minutes later, a friend of mine and I returned to the men’s room. The man was still there, presumably waiting to do to someone else what he had done to me. My friend and I seized the man and held him until a security guard arrived."
Here's how I read this. Carlson was "grabbed" by some guy who wanted to fuck him. He then "yelled," most likely something to the effect of "Hell yeah, sister! Just wait here!" He then "pulled away," spent the next twenty-five minutes trying to score some poppers, finally did so by agreeing to let a friend go in thirdsies with him, they ran back to the stall, "seized" the guy, waited for a security guard to arrive, and then the four of them got down like Sweet Georgia Brown.

Hell, that shit's better then Superbad!

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