Thursday, September 20, 2007

If I Did It.

So, here's news: in October, I'll be making my first trip ever to Las Vegas, Nevada. This is something I greet with trepidation. Kyle Leafblower has warned me that the town has about zero native culture and even less subculture--conditions I'm clearly not at all used to. It's been about a decade since I've bothered to nurture my meager card and dice skills, and I'm not very gambling-inclined anyway. I'm not all that blown away by Cirque de Soleil, not all that interested in participating in a sham marriage or baptism, and, unlike most American bloggers, I frown on killing prostitutes for kicks. Plus, the whole thing is a business trip, and there's nothing more all-dressed-up-with-nowhere-to-go than a business trip.

Don't get me wrong, though. I'm nevertheless looking forward to going, just because I'm the sort who likes to check things off the whole travel-experience list. And maybe next time I catch a break and get back to San Francisco or something.

That said, something occurred to me today--a thought that singlehandedly made the prospect of an October trip to Sin City suddenly very appealing. And after I had the thought, I immediately hit up the interwebs, looking for a hopeful sign. And I found one! Eight simple words that make a big difference:

"Simpson is due back in court in October."
That's right. By fortune and happenstance, O.J. Simpson went loony in Vegas and stormed some hotel suite looking to take adverse possession of some of his sports (and also murder) memorabilia--getting his dumb ass into heap big trouble with the local constabulary. Now, the wheels of justice don't always run smooth (right, Ron Goldman?), but if I get dealt the right hand, I could end up in Vegas at the same time another crazy-ass O.J. trial gets underway! God, let it be so!


hpmelon said...

I lived in Vegas for a while, and loved it there, except for the slot machines everywhere, and I mean everywhere. Have fun!

dcsobloop said...

I made my first trip to Vegas about a month ago, and I went in with the same attitude you have now. After about an hour, it becomes obvious that the lack of local culture is actually sort of fun. Go to any other American city and you'll more likely than not end up in the local equivalent of the Black Cat, listening to the same music surrounded by the same kinds of people. In Vegas, you can pretend you're someone different - someone who wears shiny cloths and orders bottle service at a gigantic godawful club!

the Fiery Sword said...

When I went last month, I bought a white suit jacket at the thrift store for the occasion, and I have to say it served me well. It's no green mohair, but it will do in a pinch. It's vital that you Miami Vice that shit when you're at the tables, though, because you don't want your wrists getting sweaty when you're rolling them bones.

Brett said...

Be sure to check out The Griffin in the Freemont district if you're trying to escape the craziness of the Strip... probably the best jukebox in all of Vegas