Wednesday, October 03, 2007

New Piece of Fuglitecture to Project Invincibility, Provide a Place for Washingtonians to Run To 'When There's Nowhere Left To Run To Anymore.'

Oh, hell, yeah! Guess what, terrorists? If the Tower Companies get their way, all you shoebombing dickwads can officially suck Washington, DC's fat one. That's because those insane motherfuckers to the Tower Companies plan to build The Tower of Invincibility right here in the merry old 202. And after that, who's gonna dare fuck with us!? Ol' Jhoon Rhee will finally get to retire!

Based upon the artist's rendering of the proposed architecture, the Tower of Invincibility will look like the old Riggs Bank building at Wisconsin and M, NW (now PNC Bank--because you can't spell "Pinochet" without PNC!) after it's been masturbated into tumescence by some sort of wackadoo cult of transcendentalists. After that, it will move to it's new location, which is yet to be determined because you--that's right, YOU!--"The People"...haven't decided where it shall go, yet! Over at their website, you can vote for where you'd like it to go! Area submissive bottoms in search of a strong piece of architecture to serve as a stern "daddy" figure will obviously take a shine to the architectural rendering, so if you'd like this building to go somewhere other than Larry Craig's poopchute, we suggest you get voting!

Oh, look! I can receive updates on the Tower of Invincibility Project? Don't mind if I do!

Once this thing is built, it will take the reins of "Fugliest Building in DC" from that library that everyone but me and Kriston want to see razed to the ground. The most terrifying building in the area will remain the DHHS Death Star at 5600 Fishers Lane in Rockville, and the saddest location in DC will continue to be the Walter Reed Hospital, where Bush sends all the troops he hates because they're too broken to keep surging.

It's time you all started taking the Tower of Invincibility very seriously! We can't afford to be innocent! It's a do or die situation!

2 comments:

David Nayan said...

You should do a little more research before saying so many ignorant things about this tower. It will serve as a place where people will find knowledge to create peace. It is a noble undertaking whether or not you believe it will work. At a time when there is so much upheaval in our world it is nice to find some group of people that are trying to add a little coherence.

David Nayan said...

You should do a little more research before saying so many ignorant things about this tower. It will serve as a place where people will find knowledge to create peace. It is a noble undertaking whether or not you believe it will work. At a time when there is so much upheaval in our world it is nice to find some group of people that are trying to add a little coherence.