Friday, November 16, 2007

The Audacity of Dopes: Lou Dobbs Could Make Audacity Even Dopier Than It Already Is

Oh, for crying in a bucket. As if the current state of presidential politics could afford, at this point, another teeming dose of thimblebrained inanity, we get the news that the Gandalf of News-Hole Dipshits, Lou Dobbs, might want to run for President. That's President of the United States. IN THE WORLD IN WHICH WE CURRENTLY LIVE.

Jesus wept. Listen to this horseshit:

The scenario, if you will: Michael Bloomberg gets in as a "favorite of East Coast elites," Hillary Clinton fails to win over voters who worry about her honesty and integrity, neither Rudy Giuliani nor any other GOP contender catches fire, and Dobbs jumps in as a "'fourth-party' candidate who could paint the three other contenders as completely out of touch."
I think it's safe to say that "the scenario" also includes rains of frogs, the cracking of the seven seals, me shooting myself in the forehead, and CTHULHU or something.

John Fund, the goddamned Tiresias who's foretelling this doom, is apparently skeptical because Dobbs has done little more than make "a name for himself 'picking a couple of hot-button issues that are easily demagogued.'" But how is that a cause for skepticism? Every GOP candidate has founded their campaign in the exact same way.

1 comment:

PK said...

The phrase "a fourth party candidate who could paint the three other contenders as completely out of touch" is delicious. Yes, the place of fourth-party candidates in our country is to show how practical and in-touch they are. couldn't you just say "a pot who could paint the three kettles as black"...

On the other hand, you DO have to feel for the poor right-wing bigots of the world right now. Who are the likeliest people to be the next president? The Dems have a woman and a black guy. Their own party has a Mormon and a family-hating Tourette's victim. An insanely rich Jew is pondering a third-party run. The one semi-acceptable candidate, Mike Huckabee, has this horrifying nice-guy streak that nobody seems able to cope with. What's a fundamentalist to do? I guess from that point of view, Dobbs looks positively electable.