Here, you'll find Cracked.com's accounting of the most ridiculous team names in the world of sports. By and large, a thorough accounting, one in which I learned many new things. But, as much as I dislike being a nag, I feel they've made a terrible mistake. And this isn't a close call, or a name that needs for you to be in the right frame of mind or correct dosage of pharmaceuticals to fully appreciate. No, it's pretty obvious. So much so, that I only grew more convinced through the article that this team would be accorded high honors of ridiculousness.
The team I am referring to is from the late and lamented Women's United Soccer Association: The Bay Area CyberRays. Easily the most asinine name for a sports team ever devised. The case is strong on the merits:
- CyberRay? Really?
- It's a compound word with an intermediate capital letter - a clear sign of the edgeless, attempting to introduce "edge."
- Because what you most fear in a sports opponent is the extent to which they remind you of the internet.
- Because it's just sad to be out there, using the word "cyber" a decade after people stopped using it, because it sounded fucking twee.
- What is it about the internet made you think of a ray? The way it stings?
- The name was changed from "Bay Area CyberRays" to the "San Jose CyberRays," which is just sad.
- The team colors were purple and orange. You know...just like a CyberRay!
- Seriously. What the fuck is a CyberRay?!
That said, despite their asinine name, the Bay Area CyberRays did win the Founders' Cup in the inaugural season of the WUSA. Still, I say: worst sports name EVER.