We go live to our correspondent, The Governess, reporting from Las Vegas:
I'm going by myself to Toby Keith's "I Love this Bar and Grill" for dinner. You're welcome.
also: hillary and obama are in town and no one gives a shit. they keep running the same footage on local news on a loop of her bus pulling up into a "poor Hispanic neighborhood!"
who cares when PORN STARS ARE IN TOWN AND A GUY GOT HIS THUMB REPLACED WITH HIS BIG TOE!
Thank you, Governess. Back to you, Wolf.*
*Note: AN ACTUAL FUCKING WOLF. Becuz we have teh BEST NOOZE CHANNELZ, KSUKITBAI!