We had previously commented on the City Paper's Erik Wemple making the fascinating discovery that tensions between print and web DO EXIST! I know! The eleven kabillion think pieces already written on the matter weren't kidding! But I didn't realize until a few minutes ago that the City Paper's own website includes a YouTube video simulating Wemple, living out his wet-dream panting fantasy as a Postie, making a commute from the Post's main offices to "dot-com." (hat tips: AMC/Alex Pareene) It's hilariously inane...a real study in Web (-1.5). Some observations:
- In Wemple's character-imaginings, the typical Post reporter speaks with the dialect of a coked-up Ray Romano trapped in the world's worst David Mamet play.
- What are you doing in the right lane, trapped behind the D6 bus, asshole? You drive like a fucking tourist!
- Uhm...cell phone use is illegal, beef-cheeks! [UPDATE: Oh, now that I watch it again, he "gets a ride" over to "dot-com." Huh. I guess there are cars standing by to ferry Posties to Arlington at all hours. Nice perk! Perfect for reporters who lack the stones to walk a few blocks in the snow.]
- "I gotta figure out this floating-heads thing...all the icons..." WTF?
- Why didn't you take a left on 19th and use the E Street Expressway? Is this your first time commuting?
- OH NOES! He's gonna be late getting home to Stephanie Mencimer! Better call ahead and mitigate all the poop-flinging!
- Seriously? "I don't know what icons I want to use on this thing?" Funny--most of the people I work with are in New York, and we have these things called "phones" and "computers" that help us facilitate our mundane-ass discussions.
- OMG! Total driving time=15 minutes! Of course, he glossed over the hardest part of the commute, which is finding a quick parking space at Court House. Even when he's trying to be thorough, he's lazy!
On the plus side, the video does confirm to most of the Dogma 95 conventions.