Sunday, February 10, 2008

We Have Always Been At War With The Oceanic Six

Dude. Didn't you just have to snort sarcastically when you got to the end of last week's episode of Lost, and the ABC promo voice said, "Next Week: You'll learn the identity of another member of the Oceanic Six!!" I was like, "WHOO-HOO, ABC. Great! Thanks for parcelling out the tidbits of information! Can't wait to find out this piddly detail next week! Except fuck that, ABC! You realize that there's a list of like ONE THOUSAND THINGS we want to know that we've wanted to know longer! Like how about answering Locke's direct question about what the effing Black Smoke Stompy Monster is? We've waited on that since the first episode! So spill! Tell us! It's getting so we just ignore the new shit you throw at us. Like: I didn't even bat a goddamned eye when Uncle Junior's roommate turned on that funky-ass dustbuster and started talking to ghosts and shit. Fuck! I just threw up my arms and said, 'Well, don't get excited! The only place we'll get an explanation of what the fuck just happened there will be on a viral tie-in website for 2011's Cloverfield 3: Felicity Eats Long Island City.'"

3 comments:

Robson said...

This kinda string-'em-along cutesy shit is why I stopped watching LOST at about five episodes into season 2. Seriously, who needs to wait and wait and wait for something to either reveal information or get good again? I get plenty of that reading comic books.

Karl Miller said...

I'd start watching again if, say, Laura Palmer's reanimated corpse was found walking along the beach ...

Anonymous said...

Man, you gotta start doing the pompatus of lost again.