Thursday, March 13, 2008

Also...The Free Parking Pot Is For Pussies

Via Balk: "Eliot Spitzer’s dad...'reduced him to tears during a game of Monopoly' when he was a little boy." Interesting. I can tell you, when I was a wee lad, my father sat me down for a game of Monopoly and proceeded to rip my ass out in what seemed to be record time. The whole ordeal was so merciless and so sudden that I was left crying like a bitchling as well. But then my dad taught me the secret to kicking everyone's ass at the game - get the Orange properties (Tennessee, New York, St. James Place) because all three are on the list of the ten most landed-on spaces. Take the Oranges, win the game. It's true, it's true. And then two and a half decades went by where I did not fuck any whores. Fin.


Rusty said...

I played two games over the weekend and both times the eventual winner built their fortune with those God damned Oranges.

And you'll be happy to know that both games began with my arguing passionately that putting money into Free Parking was an abomination.

Tom said...

Some jerk I knew in high school read an analysis of the game and just on the basis of cost:profit orange is the best (green is the worst).

But for my part I would usually just change my money into all of the ones in the bank, then all the fives, and so on. Then I'd charge my sister transaction fees or make her round up whenever she couldn't make exact change.