Via Balk: "Eliot Spitzer’s dad...'reduced him to tears during a game of Monopoly' when he was a little boy." Interesting. I can tell you, when I was a wee lad, my father sat me down for a game of Monopoly and proceeded to rip my ass out in what seemed to be record time. The whole ordeal was so merciless and so sudden that I was left crying like a bitchling as well. But then my dad taught me the secret to kicking everyone's ass at the game - get the Orange properties (Tennessee, New York, St. James Place) because all three are on the list of the ten most landed-on spaces. Take the Oranges, win the game. It's true, it's true. And then two and a half decades went by where I did not fuck any whores. Fin.