Thursday, March 13, 2008

From The Hook Comes The Hooker Booker, Featuring Amanda Mattos

Awesome. The woman who set up Spitzer's Emperor's Club sessions with hot mess MySpace whores, Tameka Lewis, went to UVA! CLAS 1997! Like Amanda and I and approximately 12% of every single undergraduate class in the history of UVA, Tameka was an English Major. THIS EXPLAINS HER LIMITED EMPLOYMENT OPTIONS. Best of all, she was an alumni of Madison House - they always bring people together!

Naturally, Lewis' family is stunned:


Temeka Lewis' tragic fall into a life of sleaze has left her family heartbroken.

"Her mother is just all broken up," Lewis' 79-year-old uncle said Wednesday at the family's home in Harrisonburg, Va.

"She's just too clean," said the uncle, who asked not to be named. "Even when she does the dishes, she puts on gloves. It just don't make any sense."

"No one in the community can believe that this could happen to her. I can't remember her even getting a driving ticket.

"There just ain't nobody down here can believe it."

Only 11 years ago, Lewis graduated from the University of Virginia with a bachelor's degree in English language and literature, a school spokesman said.

"She was an honor student all her life; she's from a good church-going family," her uncle said. "It's just unbelievable."


Yeah, well, she should have gone to Comm School, I guess! (And really, I don't know what her cleanliness has to do with anything. She was booking the whores, not ankle-deep in their leavings.)

Anyway, time for Mandychatting! (Which is almost as fun as Redskins-related Mandytexting.)

Amanda Mattos: it appears that it was the lady who booked her whory appointments shares our English degree from The University

DCeiver: That says an awful lot about the quality careers UVA English majors can expect to have.

Amanda Mattos: before we look to Tameka Lewis, let's first examine Amanda Mattos and _______________. But, I'm happy to know I have career options outside of blogging.

DCeiver: word. Frankly, you put me, you, __________, purple velour, our diplomas and a pimp cup in the same room, that wouldn't be a half-bad business model. It would be totes classy, tho!

Amanda Mattos: hopefully our families wouldn't refer to it as a "tragic fall into a life of sleaze" as Tameka's has

DCeiver: a "fall into sleaze" for me would be viewed by most of my family as a lateral move, at worst.

1 comment:

divine ms k said...

Damn. And here I am frittering away my mad English language and literature skillz working tirelessly as a public servant and giving it up for free, when I could be making $4300 a night. WHERE'S THE JUSTICE??

Perhaps UVA English major advisors should start handing out condoms along with the black turtlenecks. You know, for practice.