As many of you know, I truly despise those ugly, flying sacks of pure shit known as starlings. These despicable, cursed birds aren't even a native species of fauna. They were brought to this country by some uppity shithead from England who wanted every species of animal represented in Shakespeare to be in the New World, up to and including those bears that always chase us when we are trying to exeunt. This asswipe's first flock of birds dropped dead, but he didn't take the hint, and he brought another bunch of these fecking, pecking disasters over to America, and this time they thrived and went everywhere and have aggressively pushed our real American birds out of the ecosystems that God intended them to have.
Well, I read today that over in Dear Old Blighty, the starling population has begun to wane. Progress! Except that the dotty auld Brits want to save these horrible creatures. It's all explained by Londonist, where we also learn that bird census science is apparently run by bird-watching ponces:
While the Starling is still the most common bird found in London gardens, their numbers have declined from last year. In the RSPB Big Garden Birdwatch, an annual, hour-long event where bird enthusiasts or anyone with a garden in viewOne commenter writes: "I am inordinately fond of starlings: I love their chatter (and I chatter back)." This person is, apparently, my mortal enemy.
is asked to count the different birds in their gardens on a January weekend, Londoners counted 3.14 starlings per garden, down from last year's 3.65.
More troubling, though, is that since RSPB started the event in 1979, the number of starlings counted has dropped by 76%. To help keep the little birdies around, experts recommend growing plants that could provide food and shelter. Starlings specifically like to eat fruit and bugs.
When next I come to Albion, be warned: I am going rogue.