Sunday, March 30, 2008

Of Media and Marriages

Holly Martins - you remember Holly Martins, don't you? No? Well, FUCK OFF, then! - sends me this article by Carl Sessions Stepp, who we gather must be the spouse of Laura Sessions Stepp. Seems like Carl has finally noticed that print media is dying! "News organizations have to act much more boldly if they are going to survive!" he says, finally reaching the same conclusion as the rest of the goddamned world. "How can this not presage the imminent breakup of the Sessions Stepp marriage?" Martins asks. True. Ol' Carl seems to be fearlessly contemplating a headlong leap into a the future - that frontier that Laura's spent the better part of her life denying. But, I rather think Laura and Carl will be together for a long while yet. I mean, did you read Carl's forty point plan for the future of newspapers? They include:

• An online information superstructure built around a double home page, with an easy toggle back and forth: one screen for an orderly display of news and other content, the other a portal-type screen offering a master index of anything useful and appropriate for your audience, with more choices, more services and a nontraditional license to experiment

Woo! Or:

• Calendars of events, searchable and easily subdivided by date, location or theme

FUTURESHOCK! Also:

• Real-time online traffic and weather blogs, in intensely localized detail

Yes! Make that traffic blog intense!

• A homework center, where paid or volunteer teachers answer questions and offer advice (without, of course, actually doing anyone's homework)

Yes. This is just what I expect from major newpapers! People doing imaginary homework.

Look, I encourage you to check out Carl's plans to bring journamalism into the future world of the intermanets. I think you'll see that for all his flirtation with the modern world, he and Laura and going to be together for a long, long time, and then eventually die.

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