Wednesday, April 30, 2008

This Day In MandyChatting: Post NFL Draft Analysis

Blogs t r e t c h: hahahahha, the Eagles are suing TO


DCeiver: for what?


Blogs t r e t c h: "The suit for nearly $770,000 was filed in U.S. District Court on Monday. Owens lost in arbitration earlier this year, a ruling calling him to repay $1.7 million in bonuses the team paid him when he played in Philadelphia in 2004 and '05."


DCeiver: oooh, snap.


Blogs t r e t c h: not that that kind of money makes much difference to him. but, still


DCeiver: Someone should sue the Eagles for running a pass-wacky offense that can't win championships!


Blogs t r e t c h: hahahahahaha. Or for those damn chunky soup commercials their players take part in


DCeiver: There are, like, two weeks out of each year where Andy Reid watches Westbrook and says, "Woah. I forgot we have one of the best running backs in the league!"


Blogs t r e t c h: YES. not that the redskins can claim to effectively use the talent we have. but, yes.


DCeiver: Then, for the rest on the season, he's all: "Third-and-two? Time for a seventeen yard fly pattern!"


Blogs t r e t c h: well, what do you expect, when the crowd is singing that god damn song over and over? flyyyyyyy eagles flyyyyyyyyyy


DCeiver: True. But, outside of TO, he's had TERRIBLE receivers. TERRIBLE. TURRIBLE, even. Hatracks on casters would have been better. There have been seasons where a velcro-covered walrus could have gotten snaps at WR for Reid.


Blogs t r e t c h: hahaha. where is my bucket? downfield?


DCeiver: "ROLL DOWNFIELD, YOU PUDGY, VELCRO-COVERED MOTHERFUCKER! I HATES THA RUNNING GAME!" That said, Reid is going to look GENIUS next to Jim Zorn's eight-receiver spreads.


Blogs t r e t c h: I am choosing to put my (yglz book title) as far as Zorn is concerned, because... I enjoy having my bubble burst


DCeiver: Jim Zorn'll be like, "Colt...Colt...how high can you throw the ball? Because I want you out in pass patterns too." The referees will be like, "Coach, no. You can't make the entire offense eligible receivers."


Blogs t r e t c h: "We know Varsity Blues was inspiring, but please, just stop."


DCeiver: "But we drafted SEVENTEEN receivers!"


Blogs t r e t c h: hahaha


DCeiver: "PREPARE TO FEEL THE WRATH OF ZORN!!!" ZZZZOOOOOOORRRRRRNNNN!


Blogs t r e t c h: are you preparing a list of zorn puns?


DCeiver: Every single letter in his name can be elongated. NO OTHER NFL COACH CAN SAY THAT.


Blogs t r e t c h: We have ourselves a distinction!


DCeiver: Someone will have to explain to him that our entire third down playbook cannot consist of "FUCK IT HOSS! GONNA CHUCK IT TO LARGENT!"


Blogs t r e t c h: You're scaring me.


DCeiver: That was the Seahawks total offensive plan. My dad used to sit on the couch back then and yell, "Watch! Dumbass is just gonna throw it to Largent again!"


Blogs t r e t c h: at least we have chris cooley's blog to look forward to this season.


DCeiver: true. It will be called, "I'm Open, Coach! SRSLY!"

1 comment:

PK said...

With a name like 'Zorn', why bother with puns at all? You can use it like 'Smurf'.

"Yes! Way to Zorn it!"

or

"Way to Zorn it, jackass."

See how easy?