Thursday, June 12, 2008

The Audacity of Dopes: Clinton Concession Does Not Preclude The Possibility Of A Shitstorm At The Convention, Apparently

This is awesome. Apparently, the news is going around that the po-po in Denver plan to deploy some sort of Pants-Shitting Ray Gun at the Democratic National Convention as a crowd control device, ensuring that the next generation of Bobby Seales are too laden down with the weight of their own suddenly voided stool to inspire any Aaron Sorkin/Borat collabos.

Political activists planning protest rallies at the upcoming Democratic Convention in Denver have their stomachs in knots over a rumor about a crowd control weapon - known as the “crap cannon” - that might be unleashed against them.

Also called “Brown Note,” it is believed to be an infrasound frequency that debilitates a person by making them defecate involuntarily.

This has only added to the appeal of my upcoming trip to the convention. I sure hope I get to see this in action, this is the sort of anti-protest device that can really make Critical Mass live up to its name. Still, I'd take this with a grain of salt, since this report more or less reads like a South Park episode recap.

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