Wednesday, June 25, 2008

An Experiment

Your instructions are as follows:

1. Take out your iPod (or Zune, I guess...really, who buys a Zune?)
2. Press shuffle songs.
3. Answer the following: a) How many songs before you come to one that would absolutely disqualify you from being President? b) What is that song?
4. Leave your answers.

24 comments:

Drew said...

7 clicks to "Jesus Don't Want Me for a Sunbeam."

Of course 2 clicks gets Decemberists "The Sporting Life," which could be considered, in the words of the Great Hodgman, "Overly gay."

Tom said...

I tried, but eventually had to give up -- I guess I'm basically inoffensive.

But the first song I got? Fleetwood Mac. Based on that alone I'm beginning to think I may actually wind up getting elected.

Rusty said...

I'm 31 songs in and the best I can come up with so far is Supersuckers cover of Dead Homiez.

What disqualifies one from being president anyways? Bad taste or some rapper dropping N-bombs left and right?

PK said...

Hmmm... the very first song that came on was Radio 4's "Pipe Bombs", which would pretty much be a DQ if you saw the title; however, it's an instrumental and hard to argue with.

After that it was 33 clicks to "Rock You" by the Roots. Lots of plain vanilla until then.

On the other hand, I bet Barack Obama listens to the Roots...

D.Billy said...

4 clicks to Wilco's "War on War".

"Is he FER war, or A'GIN it? I an't votin fer that dirty peace-lovin' warmongering flip-flopper!"

16thstreetj said...

Two ways to look at this.

The very first song that popped up was "Let Go" by Frou Frou from the Garden State soundtrack, which shocked me, and while it may not disqualify me from being President, it should disqualify me from being allowed to own an iPod.

Hard to know what would be a slam dunk to get disqualified, "She Don't Use Jelly" by the Flaming Lips sounds worse than it is. I guess it took 40 clicks to get to "Self Defense" by Dilated Peoples.

MeMc said...

Willie and Waylon's "I can get off on you," depending on who he'd play it for. And how literal you're gonna get.

Take back the weed/take back the cocaine baby/take back the pills/take back the whiskey too/. . .I'll make it now/I can get off on you.

Wait. Never mind. Done already. Maybe that behavior would be quaint and nostalgic after the past eight years.

the g said...

2 clicks to cadence weapon's "in search of the youth crew."

the last 30 seconds of that little ditty secures my loss. I'd def. I'd never land voters in CA or NY, and middle america would find themselves confused and frightened long before those last thirty ever reached their ears.

Tom said...

I think the challenge is tough because there's very little song subject matter that would be disqualifying. I can't imagine any drug stuff doing it. Some rap, maybe. The only genuinely problematic stuff I can imagine is recent stuff that deals with gender, like Peaches.

Scott said...

8709 clicks. Pussy Pussy Pussy Marijuana. Brazilian Girls...that should do it.

Karl said...

Which ipod do I use? The ipod with music or the ipod with porn videos?

monkeyrotica said...

Grand Funk Railroad's "I'm Your Captain/Closer to Home" pretty much makes me ineligible for any public office. Which is exactly how I likes it.

Lives in Washington DC said...

Two songs into the shuffle:

"Meet Me at the Airport" by Baader Meinhof (Luke Haines' side project about the Red Army Fraction.)

Kriston said...

Fèqadu Amdè-Mesqel, depending on the prevailing wisdom about Ethiopia. In any case it sounds sufficiently terroristic to be a problem.

After that, a Jay Z/Linkin Park, which in fact is an act of terrorism. I recuse myself.

Anonymous said...

Tried this and burst out laughing: first song was London Calling.

Actually, I don't know whether that, or most songs, would really disqualify someone.

Blogs t r e t c h said...

Very first song was "Happiness is a Warm Gun", which I'd like to think would be a disqualifier, but would probably actually garner some love. Then, 7th song was "Lover I Don't Have to Love" by Bright Eyes, chock full of bisexuality and lots of other themes that poo poo family values.

apostropher said...

Song 21: "Ligole Bips (Southern Girl)" by Devin the Dude.

Anonymous said...

Patti Smith came up 10 songs in. "Elegie" from "Horses." That shouldn't be a deal breaker but somebody would find a way to spin what that "says about my character" in such a way that I'd be finished.

Anonymous said...

17th click brought up Rage Against The Machine "Bullet In The Head"(Live) Live & Rare. Seen it played live twice. I can't compare that to ANYTHING. I looked around for a presidential candidate. No sir did I see any. I was torn by the 5th click because it was "25 or 6 to 4" Chicago. Maybe they were pressed for time to recorded a song and to stay up and alert maybe Pete and the boys used cocaine, but no way to know for sure. 9th click was "Internet Relationships" by MC Lars provocative, but not that bad. The song right after RATM was "St. Stephen" The Dead, so opposite RATM.

Z

Anonymous said...

Please Don't Be Gentle With Me—Minutemen, 1 click

This be fun.

Anonymous said...

First song - Spiritualized's "The Straight and the Narrow". It's about the drugs.

Sefrankel said...

Five clicks in I hit Ensiferum's "One More Magic Potion" which is a nice mix of Viking themes and screamy heavy metal that would probably confirm to the electorate that I'm a nerd. Hey, it's good workout music, all right.

raff said...

What disqualifies one from being president anyways? Bad taste or some rapper dropping N-bombs left and right?

Indeed. Are we talking politically charged songs or songs that are profane/offensive? (or both?)

My music is generally politically neutral, but a few clicks would bring up any number of Frank Zappa songs that could be considered over the line.

dcsobloop said...

It's the Wu-Tang Clan's "Shame on a (N-Word)." My love for Big Baby Jesus trumps any politician's love for the regular Jesus.