Tuesday, July 08, 2008

The Latest In Crass 9/11 Collectibles

I don't know if anyone out there caught the television commercial for these monstrosities - collectible "currency" themed around 9/11 - but here it is for you to watch and become deeply ashamed. I'm not sure what my favorite part is, but the following moments are in the running:


  • The part where the narrator brags about how this commemorative trinket is so large that it "dwarfs" all other legal tender. YEAH! SUCK IT, DOLLAR BILLZ! FUCK YR PRE-9/11 MINDSET!
  • The part where they explain that one side has a "standard twenty dollar denomination," but...BUT!!!! On the other side, it has the numbers NINE and ELEVEN, and you will never guess what! NINE PLUS ELEVEN EQUALS TWENTY.
  • "This is the first time ever the two numbers have been used to add up to the twenty dollar face value!" THE FIRST TIME EVER. And here, we've been at war with al Qaeda, when what they really wanted to do was help us experience these bold mathematical innovations.
  • Remember that Times Square recruiting station that got bombed by a bicyclist on March 6, of this year? Well, WHERE'S MY GODDAMNED NINE DOLLAR BILL?
  • "The frosted Twin Towers stand out against a mirror-like background, much as they did in the gleaming sunlight of that fateful morning." Yes, we were all marvelling at the mirror-like background of the New York City skyline when terrorists struck and destroyed our innocence. And hey! Guess what? SEVEN YEARS OF BAD LUCK FOLLOWED.
  • The Freedom Tower is a "silvery tribute to all who were lost." A silvery tribute!
  • They were going to sell this shit for $39, until they learned to add 9 and 11.
  • These come with a certificate of authenticity attesting to...and I quote: its non-circulating Liberian legal tender currency. There's just something about the concepts of "authenticity" and "Liberian legal tender" that seems mutually exclusive.
  • Strict limit of 5 per customer, unless you are Rudy Giuliani, and plan to use them to jack off.
  • NEVER FORGET.

26 comments:

Anonymous said...

this blog is so current.

The Deceiver said...

Current enough, darling. Caught the commercial for the first time over the weekend.

Anonymous said...

Not that it hardly matters, but even assuming that you could spend this "non circulting legal tender", the value is about US$.31. Maybe you should send them US$.50 (you, know, to cover shipping and handling) and see if they send you one back.

Actually, this gives me a great idea. I'm going to reprint Confederate money and sell it at "Face Value" (plus $20 in shipping and handling). That its actually worth nothing is all the better.

The DC Feed Editor said...

I too saw the commercial for the first time this weekend! By the way, this post is now linked at The DC Feed.

Taylor Wray said...

OMG great catch DCeiver! I watched the exact same commercial this weekend and almost put my forehead thru the teevee due to the idiocy/crassness. I'm glad SOMEBODY is excoriating these profiteering bastards. How can buying this even be legal?

J.M. Tewkesbury said...

Yuck. Not only is that crass, it's tacky. We should all probably buy some though so the damn Liberian Embassy will have some money to finally finish fixing the eyesore of an ambassador's residence that is languishing on Colorado Avenue off of 16th Street.

Lance H said...

What is worse about the statement concerning being larger than other forms of currency is that they aren't even bold enough to make the claim it is the largest..."it is larger than any other KNOWN currency...

Anonymous said...

I'm shocked to find out Liberia even has currency, let alone non-circulating currency in the style of US currency. Do you think I can send some actual Liberian currency, pelts and shells, and maybe get them to send me one? I have to go there anyways to finish my "business" transaction, of which I can not discuss, as you must understand, as I could get my source in trouble with the government. Let's just say that I inherited a good deal of money from a former Iraq general and I plan on using a good chunk of it, after it gets wired into my bank account which I provided the numbers for, to buy more than just 5 of these truly one-of-a-kind historic pieces of currency. They'll look great next to my Elvis memorabilia.

bigbuzd1 said...

don't forget the the other HISTORIC 1st...."It's struck in
.999 pure silver LEAF". So what is under the microscopicly thin silver LEAF? tin?, aluminum?, or perhaps the dried remains of the idiots who came up with this abomination!

Anonymous said...

I'm going to buy up a handful of these and go to Liberia to destroy their national economy.

Take a truckload of these babies and find where some jokers there are are minting up a batch of commemorative Sierra Leon LURD rebel US dollars in (with President Charles Taylor minted on both sides, one supporting the US and the other supporting local revolutionary forces) on a mural of repeated atrocities against local citizens -- buy this "authentic US currency" using my "authentic Liberian tender" and I've just found my infinity engine for economic freedom.

It'll be like making gold out of lead...

Prov

Anonymous said...

Just keep in mind, 20 dollar liberian (LRD) exchanges to almost, but not quite 32 cents U.S. thats amazing. for only 20 bucks you can buy nearly 32 cents. Dont forget the shipping and handling of course.

Anonymous said...

Gotta love the drivin it home with available for U.S. citizens as if they check your passport over the phone when you buy em.Badass article man.Hoped someone would tear this commercial apart soon,and here it is.

Anonymous said...

Thank you. If I didn't think that some sucker was actually buying this crap, I would actually love this commercial for the ridiculousness of it. The amazing thing is that I always see it on the comedy channel and keep thinking it has to be a joke. How can any ad so misleading even be legal? Thanks again for ripping these jackasses.

Anonymous said...

Though I do not agree with your responses to the commercial's commentary, I , too, am sickened by this commercial. It leaves a very bad taste in my mouth!

Anonymous said...

This is tacky beyond words...

And don't forget, it's .999 silver... That means less than 1% of silver. Wow!

Anonymous said...

I totally agree.... i just don't get the Rudy Giuliani jacking off part.... what the hell are you talking about? He would jack off to $20 of liberian legal tender?

Anonymous said...

Wow this is awesome someone else who has also been given a large sum of money from an Iraqi prince! What are the odds of two elite people like us meeting on a blog about 32 cents of silver leaf? Well I need to go buy a large briefcase to hold my newfound wealth, take it easy!

koppit said...

Have you seen how many are on ebay and what they want for them?! up to $65!!!

chillin'_in_San_Diego said...

I wonder if enough people complained to the TV network about this, if they would pull it? Or start a blog to boycott their network; this seems like it may not work but if all their other advertisers were contacted and told that someone was starting a national campaign to boycott that network and why, if they believed you, they would be the ones to put pressure on the network to pull the other ad; they want their ads seen not avoided. We should not just complain but do something about it.

Buck said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=95Ynis5B4s4

Anonymous said...

I saw this ad on TV a couple of weeks ago and was simultaneously offended and confused. "Did they just say Liberian Currency?" "9 and 11 make 20?" I very rarely watch TV so my thought was "Holy cow this is what we've come to?"

Anonymous said...

This is only one of a few of these types of offers I've seen. The first I saw was a quarter that had flip-up towers. If I remember correctly, they even advertised it as being made from gold and silver found in the wreckage. Never forget... Capitalism. Or is it war profiteering?

Anonymous said...

I've seen collectibles that are official Liberian currency before. But this time I had the laptop handy. So, twenty dollars Liberian actually has a value. This collectible ias a base value of 31 cents US.

What does the phrase "struck in silver leaf" mean? I thought that leaf was laid onto something else, and that you struck bullion?

Anonymous said...

One poster talks about a similar scam built out of silver from the wreckage.

There was a Scotiabank vault on (I think) the fourth floor that had a huge amount of silver in it. When they found that vault - still intact - fallen into the basement wreckage, there were 11 or 12 armoured cars brought in to haul away the contents.

So there really was silver from the towers.

Alex said...

I just saw this appalling commercial, and I was intrigued by the deeply sketchy phrase "non-circulating Liberian legal tender currency," so I Googled it and your blog is the first hit. Glad I'm not the only one who was struck by its awfulness -- and perhaps the most awful part is that the mere existence of the commercial proves that there are people out there who will buy this.

Anonymous said...

assholes will buy anything they think will earn money down the road.the funny part is,that they probably will.lots of idiots to feed off each other.