Saturday, November 22, 2008

Before You Die, You See This Video

As readers know, my friend Amanda is a nice and well adjusted person who is a very good egg. Also, she recommends a lot of good music to people. Because of her music recommendations and general good eggery, whenever I hear a terrible, ear murdering song, I joke that it's a song that Evil Amanda from the Evil Parallel Universe would recommend on her Evil Blog.

So, when Kyle Leafblower pointed me in the direction of the video of this song, my thirst thought was, "My God. This shit is the most played track on Evil Amanda's evil iPod. It is the yellowcake in her uranium enrichment program. I sure hope that Good Donald Rumsfeld can stop her." (Life is complicated in the Evil Parallel Universe.)

Anyway, this is probably the worst song in the world. It's douchebag-powered aural date rape.



Honestly, seeing this video, knowing that the whole of human history has inevitable led to its creation, practically FORCES you to take the only righteous course of action left open to you. Namely: to immediately steal a truckload of rocket-propelled grenades, and then travel back in time to teach the Native Americans to use them in defense of this homeland against all European settlers. So, if by this time next week, I'm in some alternate timeline, cold chillin' with some goddamned Mohicans, living in earthly harmony with the gentle motherfucking buffalo, now you will know why.

11 comments:

Tom said...

Things I hate/love* about this video:

1. it appears to have been shot at Foxfields

2. The part where the guy pretends to strange the girl -- charming

3. The lyric "I don't waste my time with Mexicans"(?!)

4. That Wikipedia attests to their success solely in terms of their MySpace stats

5. That Warren Ellis said of this video "[it is] one of those great Litmus tests. If you meet someone who likes this? Even if they profess to like it in an 'ironic,' knowing, media-aware kind of way? Then they’re a turd with a haircut."

6. That the band's adoption of hip hop cliches is so over the top that it transcends self-parody and transmutes into racism (then spills over into self-parody again).

* When I say "love", I mean I find it amusing in the same sense that one might be amused by one of Hitler's paintings. I do not consider myself a "turd with a haircut".

FreshSnaps said...

screw the rocket-propelled grenades, this one will make you want to steal a battleship and destroy every European sailing vessel from roughly 1450-1850 before they can leave the harbor.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qa6qpgLvH30

Duvall said...

I understand the douchebags and the skanks, but why is the pig there?

bone said...

huh! very hot video

Blogs t r e t c h said...

To add to Tom's list, with which I agree fully:

7. The line where pants are taken off before hitting the dance floor. I didn't understand this version of thinking at any of the various pantsless-BYT-sponsored events, and I don't understand it now. I am perfectly capable of dancing, in pants.

8. The way the screamer guy dramatically puts his hand in his hair/on his face to show how hard he's screaming... every single time it happens. I don't believe you anymore, sir.

9. The dancing girls, who I can only assume are friends of theirs from community college.

10. The strangling really deserves to be mentioned twice.

PK said...

WHAT the HELL is that noise?

More frighteningly, is it supposed to be "sexy" or something?

Godshamgod said...

Thank you. For this has made my day.

Robson said...

Right before you die, ideally.

JMartinez said...

I was surprised that at about the 1:50 mark when I thought they'd said everything they had to say. . . they started yelling "LIAR."

The strangling. . .

And yes, the pig?

skadden said...

the girls who would hang out with these dudes
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=44f7BewqNqA

Karl Miller said...

I love that they drop the posing about two minutes into it and just present the girl-hatred in an un-sublimated form. Beautiful. and even honest, in its own way ...

If the Star Wars Kid traded his therapy money for plastic surgery and ditched his wookies for hobbits, he might make something like this music video ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDyDz8WeiM4