Tuesday, November 04, 2008

A Letter From A Fine American Cock

Balk:

Those of you who support John McCain, I want you to think about this: Barack Obama is going to win. He’s probably going to win walking away. People will spend hours waiting at the polls so they can cast their vote for him. Tomorrow’s supposed to be a beautiful day in most parts of the country: Do you really want to waste a good part of it so that you can someday tell your grandkids that you cast a futile vote against America’s first black president because you were worried about his socialist economic policies? (And remember, by the time your grandkids are around, they’ll know that “socialist economic policies” was simply secret code for “I don’t want to appear racist so I’ll grab at any excuse, no matter how ludicrous and overblown, to keep a black guy out of the White House,” which is just not going to wash.) Of course you don’t. John McCain is going to lose. Take the afternoon off and tell your boss you were voting. Go to a bar or something. Enjoy the sunshine. Your party’s about to take a well-deserved beating; would you rather spend that time standing in line behind a bunch of well-motivated, enthusiastic Democrats who are full of anticipation for this historic moment? Of course not! Get hammered and do something non-racist for the first time in a while. I mean, sure, if you really want to be racist, go vote for McCain, but remember: It’s not going to matter. He’s going to lose.

Those of you who support Barack Obama: Vote. Vote your ass off. Drag everyone you know to the polls with you. Enjoy the sensation of history. Enjoy the well-deserved victory. Enjoy the fierce urgency of now. But remind yourself of this at some point during the day (perhaps at 11 P.M. Eastern tomorrow when they announce that Barack Obama will be the next president of the United States): that was the easy part.

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