Tuesday, December 23, 2008

The End Of Sparks

Sparks is a drink made up of "malt beverage" and "citric acid," which, when combined with caffeine and a bunch of herbal crap for people who won't suck it up and do actual speed, creates a taste sensation that one might refer to as "jizz vapor." The drink, chiefly popular among art-damaged, ambisexual urban poverty tourists, never really took off in Washington, DC, to Washington, DC's eternal credit. Yet I still remembering the first time I spotted this shit on the grocery shelves, fittingly, at that goddamned Giant in Columbia Heights, and felt the horror of what the city might become. According to Gawker, the drink's manufacturer, MillerCoors, will not be producing this shit anymore. We'll believe that when Brightest Young Things change their name to Respectably Well-Lit Young Things.

[term "jizz vapor" by Sommer Mathis, used under a Creative Commons license.]

1 comment:

Blogs t r e t c h said...

Remember when we had a grand plan to stick a bunch of DCists in a room, feed ourselves Sparks, and record a podcast?