Wednesday, July 01, 2009

What My Wife And I Argued About Tonight

DCeiver: You know what I don't understand?

Wife of DCeiver: What?

DCeiver: Sting.

Wife of DCeiver: Sting?

DCeiver: Sting. The sword Frodo uses in the Lord Of The Rings. It's dumb.

Wife of DCeiver: It's not dumb.

DCeiver: It's dumb.

Wife of DCeiver: Why is it dumb.

DCeiver: Think about it. It GLOWS when orcs are near.

Wife of DCeiver: That's not dumb, that's useful.

DCeiver: That's not useful, it's lethal.

Wife of DCeiver: It warns you if orcs are near.

DCeiver: No. It's dark. You have Sting out. It glows. Orcs are also in the dark. They see Sting glowing. They come and kill you.

Wife of DCeiver: What if it's not dark.

DCeiver: It still glows! It glows. Motherfuckers see it glow. Orcs come, they kill you.

Wife of DCeiver: You can put the sword in its sheath, nobody sees it.

DCeiver: Great, then, orcs find you some other way, your dumbass sword is SHEATHED, they kill you because your sword isn't out. Your sword isn't out, because it fucking glows.

Wife of DCeiver: Well, when it glows, you can say, "Woah, better get out of here."

DCeiver: Then it shouldn't be a weapon.

Wife of DCeiver: What?

DCeiver: It shouldn't be a sword! If the swords most useful function is to tell you when to run away, it's not much of a sword. It's like, a sword that totally pussies out of fighting orcs.

Wife of DCeiver: Dude, talk to the elves.

Also, why are indestructible ring-wraiths afraid of fire? Never made any sense to me.


CitySquirrel said...

I think Orcs can see in the dark. DCeiver: 0 Wife Of DCeiver: 1

NiNa* said...

Oh damn Squirrels know their shit. I was going to ask it comes in handy battling them in the dark so you can see without having to waste a hand on a lantern clearly.