Thursday, August 27, 2009

At Play In The Fields Of Health Care Reform

In case you missed it, last night I returned to my alma mater to attend one of these insane health care reform town halls. I went with Liz Glover of the Washington Times and Jim Newell of Wonkette. Jim filed the official pool report. I got to stare into the eyes of anti-abortion whack job Randall Terry, and find them unimpressive. Terry did not bother to bring along fried chicken and beer, as he has for his crackpotty appearances at the National Press Club and the like, so, really, what good was he, anyway?

The crowd was largely in favor of health care reform, and the portion that wasn't was largely against having things explained to them, the application of logic, rudimentary reasoning, and demonstrating the sort of breeding that does not take place near a slaughterhouse. They were very much in favor of large groups of American citizens crawling off into the woods to die, for freedom. The joke's on them though! The woods in Reston are studded with well-appointed bike paths!

Representative Jim Moran demonstrated the celebrated stage presence and rampant charisma he is best known for, by which I mean he droned and droned, endlessly, senselessly, seemingly under the impression that there was someone in the room who was a bona fide fencesitter who just needed some facts to make up their minds. My favorite part was when he attempted to debunk eleven -- ELEVEN! -- internet myths about health care reform for the crowd. Because on this day, at South Lakes High School, destiny had written that it would finally be Jim Moran who would defeat the internet. It was insanely fruitless, and I wanted to vote for cloture SO BAD.

Anyway, there was much yelling, and not a few LaRouchies, pimping racist nonsense. At least they weren't at the DMV, where people are at there most vulnerable and susceptible to cult programming. There was also a Jamaican guy outside with a "Bush/Cheney '04" poster, who travelled forward in time from the past via Jah to warn everyone of all the bumbaclot health care. Plus, I hear the Klan put literature under people's windshield wipers, so, GOOD TIMES.

We really did go to Chili's which really is something of a shitshow. Everything on the menu is bottomless or kickin' or slammin'. It was hard to distinguish actual food from entrees that advertised themselves as culinary mixed-martial arts that could be unleashed against an unsuspecting colon. Nevertheless, it felt like the appropriate venue to decompress from all the affluent suburbanites yelling at one another.

Anyway, now I've been to one of these Town halls that are so hot right now.

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