Years from now, surely Mark Sanford's "Oration on the Vicissitudes of Having a Mistress in Latin America That You Go to See Every Once in a While, and Then There's That Time Everyone Finds Out About It, Hoo Boy, What A Mess, Sorry Tom Davis," will be as studied a piece of public speaking as Cicero's speeches against Catiline.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Posted by The Deceiver at 6/10/2009
Mais le dernier mot est-il dit? L’espérance doit-elle disparaître? La défaite est-elle définitive? Non!*
So, today was sad news for voting rights advocates in the District of Columbia, as the DC Voting Rights Act is, for the time being, dead or comatose. Steny Hoyer said that it was a "blot on our democracy," but that GOVERNMENTING IS HARD and WAAAAH. Here's a run down of various people saying that the fight will go on and it's disappointing and some high-faluting shit from Kwame Brown.
Whatever. I think that the era of being nice about this shit needs to end. DC, isn't it time that the city started doling out some goddamn consequences to the motherless shitstains that keep blocking your representation? I think this cause has come just about as far as it can with everyone being genial and hopeful. I think we need DCist to run down a list of all the DC Vote obstructionists and start revoking some DC privileges wholesale. Name names, start handing out photo arrays and start making life problematic for these people who, for the forseeable future, have to try to make a go of it here, for their vaunted career in politics.
The people who have worked to undermine this vote need to basically be met at the District line with a clear message - YOUR ASS IS SHUT DOWN. Restaurants need to refuse to serve these bitches. Cab drivers need to pass them by. Ticket their cars, refuse to serve them, wait on them, do business with them, assist them, and serve them in any capacity. And residents should shower these errant Congresscritters with scorn, and/or feces.
Anyway, this would at least make for an entertaining summer. So go take out your frustrations on the Pétainist scum, Washington, and get the representation you deserve.
*Technically, I'm eight days early.
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
Via Andrew Sullivan, here's a look at the socialism that Sarah Palin has been warning you about, because she can see it from her porch or some shit:
Yeah, so, it goes like this. First, they came for $82.3 billion, and I said nothing, because FUCK DUDE, we still had $39.2 trillion, and yeah, I was like, "WOO, POP SOME CRISTAL UP IN THIS PIECE!" and anyway, did you know we are using some of that money to make another Final Destination sequel? It's TRUE, we are, and yeah, I'D LOVE TO SEE CAPITALISM EXPLAIN THAT.
Gah. This guy. I was sort of wondering what Dana Milbank was doing now that Jonathan Weisman wasn't around to fight his battles for him. Turns out he's just straight up walkin' around with another man's underpants on his head and telling media bloggers about it, because this is what grown-ass men with gravitas do now, because of the recession.
The lesson learned at WaPo editorial cartoonist Tom Toles' summer party this weekend was definitely- if Dana Milbank is invited to a party at your house, make sure your wardrobe's locked and your laundry's hidden.Back when I was at VCU, there was a guy in our department who stole peoples' underwear. The police were called. They literally found hundreds of pairs of underwear in his dorm room. Friends of mine actually had to go and identify their stolen underwear. SORT OF CATCHING THE SAME VIBE.
The Post's "wiseguy," as described in Yeas & Nays ran around the house with a pair of Toles' very own tighty-whities over his jeans and even waved a pair over his head on the dance floor.
Even funnier- Toles says this isn't the first time his underwear drawers' were raided by Milbank. Last year, he apparently stole every single pair of his drawers and decorated Toles' office with them.
Anyway, this is your regularly updated guide to Dana Milbank's coping mechanisms. And now, here's a video, from Our Friend Liz Glover, that will never get old, ever.
Monday, June 08, 2009
Tuesday, June 02, 2009
In the dream I had last Friday night, there was a moment when I called Megan Carpentier on my cell phone because I had to make an inquiry, "Megan, I'm in your apartment, and I need to know where you keep your extra clip."
Yes. My subconscious believes that Megan owns a Sig-Sauer P220 Super Match. I don't remember much more of the dream, but I'm guessing it was pretty exciting.
Allen graduated in 1970 from Palos Verdes High School, where he was a member of the falconry club and the car club. He was also quarterback of the varsity football team.It's worth mentioning, that as bad as it is for racists to be walking around the streets of DC karate chopping people, just imagine how much more fucked up it would be if they were coming at you with some goddamned trained falcons. Seriously! That would be some shit, right there.
Monday, June 01, 2009
So my favorite story of the day is the one reported on by Dave Weigel, and it goes a little something like this:
For years, conservative writer and activist Marcus Epstein has worked with the mainstream of the immigration restrictionist movement. He wrote speeches for former Rep. Tom Tancredo (R-Colo.) during his presidential bid, and he’s still working as the executive director of Tancredo’s Team America PAC, alongside Bay Buchanan. Epstein has been targeted for years by civil rights groups like the Southern Poverty Law Center and the One People’s Project, who have obtained Epstein’s guilty plea to a hate crime he committed two years ago.
On July 7, 2007, at approximately 7:15 p.m. at Jefferson and M Street, Northwest, in Washington, D.C., defendant was walking down the street making offensive remarks when he encountered the complainant, Ms. [REDACTED], who is African-American. The defendant uttered, “Nigger,” as he delivered a karate chop to Ms. [REDACTED]’s head.
Jesus. I love the casualness of the description. Yeah, he was just cold walkin' down the street, you know, JUST MAKING OFFENSIVE REMARKS AND WHAT NOT, and the motherfucker thought, "Word, I'm going to self-actualize, here, and straight up KARATE CHOP A WOMAN, and what not." BECAUSE SATURDAY NIGHTS ALRIGHT FOR KARATE CHOPPING PEOPLE. Nutlog! Apparently, Bay Buchanan was all, "THIS WAS TWO WHOLE YEARS AGO!" Right! Marcus Fuckjam Epstein hadn't yet reached the Age of Reason, which, for Tancredo supporters, is probably somewhere around 62 years old or something.
Anyway, Bay Buchanan suggested that the Young Master Shaolin Kung-Fu Epstein was going to put this all behind him next year, at the University of Virginia Law School. I'm pleased to report that QUICKLY CAME THE KIBOSH.
Jason Wu Trujillo, UVA's Dean of Admissions and Financial Aid, now says Epstein will not enroll this fall, or ever.What can I say? A lot has changed at UVa. Why, time was your average racist dickpootle not only was able to find a home at UVa. Law, they'd let you quarterback the football team as well!
Anyway, whatever, now Epstein will have to go get his law degree from Regent College, like Monica Goodling and all those other fakety fake McFake lawyers, the end.